This is our last week reading together a very good book, The Fruit of Her Hands by Nancy Wilson
. I have been blessed by all the comments of each one of you who have been participating in this forum. Thank you for your input; the conversation has been joyful indeed.
Chapter Seven. Lovemaking
What a wonderful chapter this is! I would dare to say that this has been my favorite one. Nancy Wilson takes The Song of Solomon as the best place to start because sex was God’s idea not man’s. In this book of the Bible (4:12; 5:1) the bride is referred to as “a garden enclosed”. It is not a public garden, but a private one; one with boundaries, one “within a protective fence that a marriage covenant provides”.
As any other garden, the Christian woman needs to tend her own garden; How do we do this? “By being affectionate, approachable, warm, and responsive”
Let your fountain be blessed,
and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
As a loving deer, and a graceful doe,
let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
and always be enraptured with her love. (Proverbs 5:18- 19)
The author points that even though this verse is directed to husbands, there is a lot for us, wives, in it. She encourages us to rejoice in the marriage bed; she says that wives should not view sax as a mere duty or obligation, inconvenient and time-consuming, but a time of delight, of joy.
Nancy Wilson goes on to explain what it means to enrapture your husband with your love.
“This means that you must be more than simply responsive. You must be active in the sexual relationship. You certainly must delight him in a passive sense, but there is more required to enrapture him…this implies a great rejoicing on the part of both partners… This is not a teaspoonful once a week. It is a picture of a cup overflowing.”
There are hindrances that we must overcome at times, such as tiredness, fatigue, a big family, little ones, (and I would say teenagers who seem to be more talkative at nights!), not being in the mood, prudishness, and some others. How do we overcome all these? The author answers plainly,
“Put your theology into practice…
Don’t expect sudden, drastic, changes. our sanctification is a gradual process. But you should see progress as you apply His Word”
Again, studying the Word, abiding in it comes into play. We must bring, as I like to say, the doctrines into the kitchen…or in this case into the marriage bed!
This chapter ends with a word of encouragement for those Christian wives who have a non-believer husband, or are married to a man who doesn’t honor the marriage bed. I will just quote the author and encourage you, if this is your case, to read the book, or seek godly advice.
“Your godliness is never dependent on someone else. You stand before God in Christ and are accountable to Him for your behavior.
Let God tend your garden, and do not let envy for other loved wives or resentment toward your husband ruin yours. and even if your husband does not see it or appreciate it the way he should, if he ever does wake up and open his eyes, he will see a lovely tended garden waiting for him”
Chapter Eight. Leftovers
This is a chapter in which the author deals quickly with some issues she did not want to left out. First of all she encourages the Christian woman not to pay attention to criticism and condemnation from the world against us. I like the way she says it,
“Criticism from the outside should be the result of our godly behavior, not our sinfulness”
Yes, we all know it. The world will certainly criticize us as we pursue our calling, as we seek to live holy lives, but we should always look at what the Scripture teaches and obey it.
Nancy Wilson also addresses the widows, and all of us who will probably be widowed one day. (I never thought about that!) She encourages us to build a solid relationship with God and His Word, on her words,
“Wives, while your earthly husband is alive, cultivate biblical thinking about this. Good doctrine will be a tremendous help to you in trial. Believing and learning the right things about God are like storing up provisions for a famine. When affliction comes you will have a good store of grace available.”
She also addresses the topic of taking care of our elderly parents with love and honor and the real meaning of a wedding (going beyond flowers, colors and dresses).
Thank you, dear sisters for joining me in this precious endeavor, studying more about our role as wives and and moms. Thank you!
This is November of Thanksgiving
; and today I want to raise my voice with other brothers and sisters to give thanks to God from whom all blessings flow.
871. Today I am grateful for God’s idea of marriage.
Isn’t it a mystery indeed? One + One = One
, how can that be? Lord, I am so thankful that you chose marriage to portray the relationship between Jesus and His bride. I am grateful for this covenant that bounds us together until death comes. I am grateful because in Heaven we will never be widowed, we will have YOU as our all in all, as our Husband and Maker. I am grateful for the marriage bed, for the warmth of two bodies; for hugs and kisses and love overflowing.
872. I am also grateful for my husband, the lover of my soul. For his hands and heart. For the way he is. For the way he loves us and takes care of us. I am forever grateful for the marriage you have helped us build.
>Dear friends, today has been a long and happy day; I did read each one of your comments but I need to go to bed right now! _that's why I am not answering individually this time. Thanks to each one of you. You have made my reading of this book very special.I am craving some more of this in the near future, January, maybe?Much love to each one of you!
>Becky, I too join you in thanking God for husbands who love Him and who love us. Blessings sister!
>I will never forget what my pastor's wife taught us about lovemaking. "If you are too tired at night to be with your husband, go to the bathroom and do 5 jumping jacks and you'll see you'll get your energy back, plus, it has been studied and confirmed; that when a woman has sex she wakes up with more energy in the morning." I love practical advice!I like very much what Mrs. Wilson advices to the widows, to cultivate biblical thinking now, before he is gone. That really applies to our devotional lives; everyday we must be ready, prayed-up, for we never know when we will need sound doctrine, based on a life that rests in Him. Thank you so much Becky! Dios me ha hablado por medio de ti, y le doy gracias a El y a ti por tu amor y sabiduria!! Hasta la proxima!
>I very much appreciated Nancy Wilson's chapter on lovemaking. I liked her straightforward approach that gives real handles to the most dynamic and enduring relationship on earth. And I was grateful that she refrained from issuing "how-to's" as I feel that inevitably leads to cheapening the marriage bed. I like how she trusts that God will grant the increase all the way into the bedroom! This is a wonderful book to give as a gift to a young bride-to-be. How they need the strong influence of godly wisdom from older women! Thank you for offering and leading this wonderful book discussion, Becky. It has been a delight.-E
>And to think that God planned human marriage to be a picture of Christ and His Bride, the Church…marriage is more wonderful than we imagine.
>Yes! Praise God for marriage and for husbands who love us and desire us. I came in just recently (during the contentment chapter) but you've done a nice job.
>Thanks for bearing with me, Becky! I love this book. I wrote on my blog about it, but I think the problem was my perfectionism, not so much Nancy Wilson's book. It's such a lovely book, and it's the Lord's goodness that brought it to me! :)God bless!
>I really liked the garden analogy she used in love making section. I'd never heard it used like that, but it makes such good sense!Thank you, dear sister, for leading this study. It has been so good for me to be introduced to this book. It's one I will visit again many times!
>Becky, yes it is a mystery indeed that 1 + 1 = 1. It really does help us understand the sweet love that Jesus feels for his bride. I am thankful for my husband, too. We are blessed!
>What a great job you've done, Becky, in leading other women through this study. I admire your faithfulness and your love for His truth.And, I praise God with you today, dear friend, for the gift of marriage. How thankful I am for my Beloved.