This is true, we love our friends.
Friends who cry with us, friends who need that we cry with them.
Friends who listen and friends who need to be listened to.
Friends who laugh and others who need our laughter.
Friends who encourage and others who need encouragment.
Friends who support us in prayer, friends who need our prayers.
We women are especially willing to engage in deep friendships, we love to talk and encourage others and just be friends; but as I teach my daughters about friendship, I need to go deeper and teach them, really teach them, about this issue which can build them up or tear them down.
I have seen this, I have been at a Starbucks by myself trying to read a book and suddenly the conversation besides me calls my attention. A group of women, all loud, all “friends”, and their words are only words that destroy their husbands and children. It is almost like a competition to see which one of their husbands is the worst, the meanest, the less preapared, and the least affectionate.
It is true, these women are probably not Christians, but I have also seen this particular way of conversing around a table in which the women around it call themselves Christians. The difference? They do exactly the same, but add the words “Please, help me pray for my husband or my children….”
Mary, a woman who found favor in the eyes of the Lord, learned from the beginning a valuable lesson that we, women who fear the Lord, must learn; the Bible says that “Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart…” (Luke 2:19)
Who are our friends? What do we talk about around a coffee table? Is it about the weaknesses of our husbands or children? Are we gossiping in the form of “prayer requests”? What is in our heart? Let us pray to the Lord and ask Him forgiveness if we have done this.
Every time we open up the secrets of our home over a coffee table, we are walking away from wisdom, away from prudence, away from understanding; in the book of Proverbs 2: 9-13, we read:
“For wisdom will come into your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
discretion will watch over you,
understanding will guard you,
delivering you from the way of evil,
from men of perverted speech”
Women dress up beautifuly to meet with their friends, yet they often forget what the Bible teaches about a woman who is not discreet:
“Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout
is a beautiful woman without discretion.”
Proverbs 11: 22
I want to teach my daughters all these and now that they are young, they are already learning that it is not Biblical to talk about their parents’ or brother’s mistakes in the company of others. They are learning that certain things need to be kept inside our home.
If you are really in a desperate situation, don’t go over to a coffee table, go first of all to your husband, and then go to an elderly woman in the Church in whom you know you can trust.
Friends, godly friends are a gift from God. I have been greatly blessed with many women in my life who love God and love their families so much that they do not come to our coffee table to tell the me all about the sins of their husbands and children. They honor them, they are grateful, they build wisely, and walk in prudence. For this I am thankful.
“Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets,
but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.”
Prov 11:13 ESV
I have also learned that if I want to honor my husband and our relationship, I should come always to him first. He is my Beloved, he is my best friend, he is the one who holds my hand in the night. I should never choose oher friends over his friendship. Whenever I share about a personal struggle with a friend, he knows about it. He is never left out.
My friends have helped me be a better wife, a better mom; they have encouraged me to good works, to grow in my sanctification, and for this I am grateful.
We insist to our children about the importance of choosing excellent friends, godly friends? Do we hold the same standard for ourselves?
Do we choose wisely?
I pray I will always do.
“Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets;
therefore do not associate with a simple babbler”
Prov 20:19 ESV
“The righteous chooses his friends carefully
but the way of the wicked leads them astray”
Prov 12:26 ESV
May you find today beautiful opportunities to bless your friends.
The pictures were taken in a trip with my best friends, my husband and my sister with her husband. We had a wonderful time. It was a gift indeed!
A book which helped me grow into the woman I am now is this:
|The Fruit of Her Hands|
This post is linked to Raising Homemakers
This is wonderful, Becky. Very true. I have discovered that friendships among young Christian girls can be very unchristian. I am having to be very intentional about teaching my daughters how to be good, faithful, and God-honoring friends.