Category Archives: Homemaking

Making a Beautiful Home by Rayia Soderberg

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I’m always inspired by women like my friend, Rayia Soderberg, who make all things beautiful.  No matter where she goes, Rayia leaves a trail of beauty and inspiration behind her. So as you can imagine, I’m delighted to have her on the blog today.

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Making a Beautiful Home
By Rayia Soderberg

“And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work is our hands.”
Psalm 90:17

The Bible is filled from beginning to end with creation, design and beauty. God delighting in His people and expressing it through glorious creation. Gifting us with wonder and designs too amazing for us to comprehend.

Dwellings are important to God, as we see so clearly in the Old Testament when he gave very specific instructions for the design and building of his tabernacle and temple. Every detail and item not only served a purpose, but were made to be beautiful.

He gave Adam and Eve a garden as the very first home here on earth and Jesus said he is preparing a place for us in heaven. He has and is still creating home for us. Because of that, I believe creation, design and beauty is important work for Christians.

It is one of the many ways we can emulate our heavenly Father. As wives and mothers we have the privilege of creating a world within the world for our families. Each as unique and personal as the people in them. It is no small task. God created for six days and rested. He knows it is hard but good work. During the sunniest of times, this can be a challenging task. During difficult times it can seem like an impossible one. Right now the world is under quarantine. Everyone is home. Dwellings have become multipurpose, serving as school, workplace and the hub for all activities. Our worlds all just got much smaller. Many of us are stretched thinner than we are used too!

I think now more than ever the above verse is a very important one. We need the beauty of the Lord to be upon us and establish the work of our hands. The work we do now matters perhaps more then ever. We are creating memories and experiences for our children that will leave impressions for many years to come.

How many of us have grandparents that went through the Depression and have stories of their parents creating beauty, joy and memories out of next to nothing. The impression it made on their lives and the lives of their children lives on. Crepe paper flowers dipped in wax for Christmas. Sheets of Jello cut out in fun shapes because it made an otherwise uneventful birthday, something special. Every meal shared around a set table. Dresses and quilts made from flour sacks became treasures. The stories go on and on. Mothers creating as lovely a world as possible with whatever they had. What a wonderful example to us!

Following in their footsteps and giving our children sweet and beautiful memories from this historical time will be a part of who they are and how they see the world. Creating a peaceful and lovely home in the midst of worldwide fear and uncertainty, is a tremendous witness to our children and those around us.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing; and she smiles at the future.” Proverbs 31:25

“She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27

Not sure where to start or even if you can? God delights to answer prayers!
Ask God to establish the work of your hands, and show you how you can create a beautiful home that glorifies him and blesses your family during these difficult days.

One of the many ways to create a beautiful home is with decor. I love decorating and creating beautiful spaces and would love to share some fun and practical ways for you to decorate, design and create beauty during quarantine.

1. Get the kids involved!
In my experience kids really enjoy being a part of decorating and creating. Rotate children on weeknights and have each one in turn set the table “all pretty.” Get out your nice things and enjoy using them!
Maybe let your preteen decorate the mantle. Or try decorating their own room. Now is also great time for kids to create art! Buy cheap frames and have a whole gallery wall of “quarantine art.”

2. Get colorful!
Bring out the colors and patterns. Color naturally brightens a mood and lifts the spirits! Now is a great time to experiment with new colors and go crazy in your space. For some, going crazy might mean adding one color to their neutral decor, and that’s just fine.

This quarantine won’t last forever so don’t feel the need to keep things bright and colorful if that’s not your natural bent, but I think you’ll find it helps for now.

And get flowers! As many as you can afford. They brighten up any space! Faux or real plants help bring the outdoors in and can keep a room from feeling stuffy.

3. Rearrange and refresh!
Keep things fresh and try rearranging your furniture and decor. Everyone is home all the time, so things can start to feel cramped and tired. A reset feels fresh and fun, even if you don’t keep it that way long term. Some ideas for furniture arrangements would be…moving your beds so you have a better view out your window when you wake up. I did this and love it! Arrange the living room furniture to maximize conversation space. Try putting a small table in your living room so there is always a space for creativity even if others are playing a game or watching TV.

Also remember to make room for the kids (and husbands) who are now at home. They don’t want to feel like they don’t have a place to work or play. Make sure there is space for them to be creative too. The only thing worse than being quarantined in your home is being quarantined in a museum!

4. Ask your husband!
This is probably something you’ve all done before, but now is a great time to ask again. If he’s home all the time now, he may have some new ideas or thoughts that would be a blessing to him. He may not, but I bet he’d appreciate being asked anyway. Designing/planning a master bedroom makeover can be a fun thing to do together!

5. Get those house projects done!
Not only will your homes look and feel better but you will love seeing the finished product and how great to cross things off your list!
Paint that room or deck you’ve been putting off. Sew some new pillow covers. Change out the curtains. Hang that gallery wall. Wallpaper (add or remove). Switch out the 90’s faucets in your bathroom. Refinish that piece of furniture. Or make your children something special just for them.

6. Start designing and decorating your home!
If you’ve been putting it off because you don’t have money right now to do the home the way you want to, stop letting that stop you. Your circumstances probably won’t change that much in the next few years, but your kids will. Start creating and designing a space right now, with whatever budget you have! Beautiful doesn’t mean expensive, new or perfect. A beautiful home is a home filled with love and care. Some of the loveliest homes I’ve been in are simple, but personal and thoughtful. They don’t look like they are straight out of a magazine, nor do they look like a giant yard-sale heap. They look like they have been thoughtfully created with love and everyone feels comfortable and welcome in them.

If you don’t know where to start, ask yourself how you would like your home to feel (bright, airy, fresh, cozy, warm, inviting). Then look for examples of different styles (traditional, modern, farmhouse, eclectic, Scandinavian, minimalist) on Pinterest and explore. If you are on a tight budget, search “decorating on a budget” and you will find a host a great ideas to get you started.

7. Have fun with it!
Don’t get caught up on decorating rules. Now is a great time to experiment and play around with ideas , try that thing you’ve always wanted to try and have a good laugh at any mistakes. Work hard, love your family and smile at the future. You are doing kingdom work!

I hope those ideas spark some inspiration and help keep you motivated during quarantine.

May the Beauty of the Lord shine upon you and establish the good and faithful work of your hands!

Love,
Rayia

Are we Busy or Distracted?

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Christ in the House of Martha and Mary by Diego Rodriguez DaSilva y Velázquez

 

“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”” Luke 10: 38-42

Wait. Read that passage again. Two more times, maybe?

I have been mediating on this passage and it came to my attention that Martha’s problem was not necessarily being busy, it was something else.

Martha was busy at her home, and she understood that hospitality is a big word that implies big work. She got that part and that is good. But keep reading. Her problem was not that she was busy doing what needed to be done, hers was a heart problem that is seen as follows:

1. Martha was distracted by much serving. Much serving was not the problem, having a house full of guests, or littles at home to feed or grown-ups to listen to, or having to make extra soup for a friend in need, or classes and papers to grade, and doctors’ appointments to make, and laundry and exams, and a husband to embrace and a friend in need to listen to are not the real problem. The problem is how that busyness, how that much serving can distract our hearts and draw our attention to something else that will destroy our relationship with God and others.

Jeremiah Burroughs in his book, The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment, says that Christian contentment is “opposed to an unsettled and unstable spirit, whereby the heart is distracted from the present duty that God requires in our several relationships towards God, ourselves and others.”

This is exactly what I see in the passage. Martha’s heart got distracted and her heart became unsettled and unstable. Instead of looking at Jesus, the object of her service, she looked at herself and in turn, her eyes veered to her sister in comparison.

2.  Notice that after Martha’s heart is distracted, she turns to Jesus, but not to listen to Him. He looks to Him in order to complain. How could He have missed the fact that she was doing more than Mary? How could He not see her diligent service and her sister’s poor attitude towards their duties?

Jesus’ answer goes directly to the heart of the matter. He does not address the “how-much-I-am-doing vs. the-how-much-she-is-not-doing” argument (that we moms have heard from our children too often, just like our Heavenly Father has heard from his children more than often!). Martha’s problem was anxiousness, a troubled heart -not busy hands, and also the fact that she started comparing herself with her own sister. She wanted Jesus to make her an example before Mary. Martha clearly had not learned contentment in the midst of a busy day.

Again we read Jeremiah Burroughs’ wise words: “[Christan contentment] is opposed to murmuring and repining at the hand of God…” and “Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious, frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God’s wise and fatherly disposal in every condition.”

How challenging and fitting it is for us to read this passage. Many of us are in a season in which our lives are full, trying to do less is what we dream of, but in reality we just can’t.  But we can do one important thing: check the attitude of our heart in the midst of all those busy moments. In doing so, we will be choosing “the good portion” that Jesus wants us to choose.

So let’s check our own heart: Am I continually and quietly murmuring and complaining -even in prayer? Is it my tendency to be distracted in my heart only to find myself comparing my days with those of my neighbor? Can I see my present condition and my hands full, and praise God and see Him and listen to Him as I come and go? Or am I using this busy season in my life only as an excuse to not come to Jesus to worship Him?

“A Christian knows that he should not be diverted by small matters, but should answer every distraction, and resist every temptation.” Jeremiah Burroughs.

Grace upon grace,

Becky

Time to Do What the Lord Wills

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Photo Print by Laura Evans on Etsy

Some encouraging -and convicting- words from the pen of Elisabeth Elliot on the Discipline of Time:

“My times are in thy hand…” has become a part of my life. When the Lord has left me in agony of waiting over some decision, these words have put me a rest. His timing is always perfect, though it seldom seems to me, for my temperament longs for previews of coming attractions.”

 

“There is always enough time to do the will of God. For that we can never say, “I don’t have time.” When we find ourselves frantic and frustrated, harried and harassed and “hassled,” it is a sign that we are running on our own schedule, not on God’s”

On our way too long to-do lists:

“But the lists must be reviewed daily with the Lord, asking Him to delete whatever is not on His list for us, so that before we go to bed it will be possible to say, “I have finished the work You gave me to do.””

Are you feeling frustrated and worried about your endless lists of things to accomplish and places to go? Maybe it will be a good idea to be reminded of these simple truths:

“Frustration is not the will of God. Of that we can be quite certain. There is time to do anything and everything that God wants us to do. Obedience fits smoothly into His given framework. One thing that most certainly will not fit into it is worry.”

 

“Direct your time and energy into worry, and you will be deficient in things like singing with grace in your heart, praying with thanksgiving, listening to a child’s account of his school day, inviting a lonely person to supper, sitting down to talk unhurriedly with wife or husband, writing a note to someone who needs it.”

 

“People wish they had more leisure time. The problem is not too little of it, but too much of it poorly spent.”

On our time spent with the Lord:

“Time management…begins for the Christian with time set aside for God. Other things cannot fall into a peaceful order if this is omitted.”

All these quotes come from the book, Discipline: The Glad Surrender.

Becky

The Two Objects Needed to Make a Home

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Peasant Family at the Dinner Table by Jozef Israëls

What a great a read is Bed and Board: Plain talk About Marriage by Robert Farrar Capon. I am absolutely loving this book. I posted some quotes from the first four chapters here, and today I want to share with you a few more quotes from chapters 5 and 6.

“I usually say that you need only two things, two pieces of matter, to make a home: a bed and a table. It’s an oversimplification, but it’s a good one…For Bed and Board are the fundamental geographical divisions of the family; they are the chief places, and it is in them and around them that we dance the parts we are given.”

“He who perished by a tree is saved by a tree. He who died by an apple is restored by eating the flesh of his Saviour. Our lust is to be healed by being brought down to one bed, our savagery tamed by the exchanges around a lifelong table. Bed, Board, rooftree and doorway become the choice places of our healing, the delimitations of our freedom. By setting us boundaries, they hold us in; but they trammel the void as well. By confining, they keep track of us -they leave us free to be found, and to find ourselves. The vow of lifelong fidelity to one bed, one woman, becomes the wall at the edge of the cliff that leaves the children free to play a little, rather than be lost at large. Marriage gives us somewhere to be.”

“The bed is the heart of the home, the arena of love, the seedbed of life, and the one constant point of meeting. It is the place where, night by night, forgiveness and fair speech return that the sun go not down upon our wrath; where the perfunctory kiss and the entire ceremonial pat on the backside become unction and grace. It is the oldest, friendliest thing, in anybody’s marriage, the first used and the last left, and no one can praise it enough.”

“We were meant to meet, to sustain and to ease each other, and in the marriage bed we lie down to do just that. It is an island in a sea of troubles, where there is nothing else to do but rest and refresh. Yet how resourceful we are, with our turned backs and stubborns silences, or with our interminable pouts and dreadful debates about What’s Wrong With Us.”

“People admit is hard to pray. Yet they think it’s easy to make love. What nonsense. Neither is worth much when it is only the outcropping of intermittent enthusiasm. Both need to be done without ceasing…”

“The table can make us or break us. It has its own laws and will not change. Food and litter will lie upon it; fair speech and venom will pour across it; it will be the scene of manners and meanness, the place of charity or the wall of division, depending. Depending on what is done with it, at it and about it. But whatever is done, however it enters, it will allow only the possible, not the ideal. No one has ever created the Board by fiat. God himself spread his table, but Judas sat down at it. There is no use in thinking that we all have to do is wish for a certain style of family life, and wait for it to happen. The Board is a union of thing and persons; what it becomes depends on how the thing is dealt with by the persons.”

“The Board will always give birth to liturgy.”

“[I]t is precisely the absence of visible liturgy that nowadays makes the common life less obvious to common men.”

“Few of us have very many great things to care about, but we all have plenty of small ones; and that’s enough for the dance. It is precisely through the things we put on the table, and the liturgies we form around it, that the city is built; caring is more than half the work.”

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

The Feminist Mistake by Mary Kassian -My Review-

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A professing Evangelical woman today will try to say that she is not a Feminist, that she only believes that in marriage (and Church) there should be no hierarchies, that in Christ we all are one and that we, wives, are not longer called to submit to our own husbands, instead we are both (husband and wife) called to submit to one another.  Is this even possible?

Mary Kassian’s book: The Feminist Mistake, The Radical Impact of Feminism on Church and Culture is an extremely important book in all this “gender debate” issue. And it is important because of at least three reasons:

1. It helps us understand the origins, the philosophical and theological views of Feminism and how it found its way into the Church.

2. It also help us understand how it is impossible to be a Feminist and a Christian. You can’t embrace both. Feminism always leads to a “new kind” of theology which has its own hermeneutic methods to interpret the Scriptures, so that it would be able to “support” its own beliefs.

3. It helps us understand that the so called “gender-debate” (egalitarianism vs complementarism), goes beyond the issues like “who takes the final decisions at home.” Feminism leads, little by little, to a complete non-Biblical view of God, and the world.

Kassian’s book is well written, clear, and engaging. It is also well researched and it includes a great number of references. Mary Kassian’s approach is objective, and does not deal with the subject as if she were in a “witch hunt,” she presents a professional historical account, and always from a solid Biblical standpoint.

The book is divided in two parts: The Philosophical Quake and Shock Waves

The first part is subdivided in three stages:

1. Naming Self (here she explains how women decided to name themselves, instead of letting God name them, define who they are).

2. Naming the World  (two of the things she deals about in this stage are: Women-centered Analysis of Theology and Women’s Studies in colleges).

3. Naming God (the feminization of God, and women and their place in the Church are discussed here).

In the second part of her book, Kassian deals with the advent of “biblical feminism,” the hermeneutic methods they use to sustain their “egalitarian” position, the  “what-to-do-know” kind of questions, and what will happen next if we refuse to see the danger feminism represents and we neglect to stand firm against it.

I would like to share with you some quotes on the matter of Feminism and Theology:

“In order to harmonize feminism and religion, Daly found it necessary to reject the theology that presented God as omnipotent, immutable, and providential, for she believed that this view discouraged women from seeking change. Furthermore, she viewed images of a jealous and vengeful God as projections and justifications for the role of the “tyrant father in patriarchal society” rather than as actual aspects of God’s character. The concept of an almighty, all-powerful, unchangeable, caring, providential God, jealous and demanding worship, was, according to Daly, an inadequacy in the conceptualization of basic doctrines which sustained and perpetuated androcentric theological teachings.” (p.47)

 

“Feminist theolgians, therefore, took the liberty of discarding passages of the Bible that did not agree with their vision of sexual equality. They either dismissed the text as outdated -relative only to a particular time and culture- and the author of the text as misogynistic, or they interpreted it and assigned it a meaning different from what the author had intended. The dynamic view of the Bible that feminists adopted allowed them to adjust biblical interpretations in order to make the Bible relevant to the problems and  perspectives of women in contemporary culture. Feminists argued that biblical interpretation could and should change.” (p. 108)

 

“Traditional symbols of the church had presented God as “He” and as King, Lord, and Judge. Feminists maintained that these religious symbols excluded women. The symbols needed to be updated to accommodate the new feminist consciousness. According to feminists, linguistics symbols of the Bible and church, as well as of God, needed to be altered in order to bring them into line with the inclusive equality of women.” (p.162)

Ruether and Stendal, two influential feminist theologians, said that “those who imaged God as male were guilty of idolatry,” and that “those who believed that God was, in some way or another, male were guilty of idolatry.” The author rightly responds,

“…by changing the biblical symbols, Russell altered and renamed God. This is a serious matter. For if feminism’s altered view of God is out of synchronization with who God really is, as He has revealed Himself, then it is not really God whom they are imagining and worshiping; and this is the idoaltry that the Bible condemns.” (p.168)

When women start re-naming God and try to de-sexualize Him, what they end up doing, according to the author’s analysis, is they depersonalized God, they attack God’s character,  they deny the Trinitarian relationship, they obscure the person and work of Christ, they obscure humanity’s relationship to God, and their own personal identity (p.168-173).

If you read this book carefully, you will clearly see the philosophical progression of feminism.

Mary Kassian says,

“While I do not deny that feminist vary in political theory and theology, I maintain that are all part of a larger continuum that supersedes and encompasses those variations. A feminist, at any given point in time, may not see herself or himself at the radical end of the movement, and I am certain that some individuals will never change their personal views to that extent. But the dissociation of one’s brand of feminism from the remainder of the feminist movement is a naive denial of reality. The philosophical progression of feminism is both coherent and logically immanent.” (p.241)

Maybe you are one of those who “sees feminism as an ideology that merely promotes the genuine dignity and worth of women.” Read what Mary Kassian wisely says on the matter:

“If this were true (the statement above), feminism would definitely be compatible with Christianity, for the Bible does teach that women and men are of equal value in God’s sight, co-created as bearers of God’s image. But the philosophy of feminism adds a subtle, almost indiscernible twist to the basic biblical truth of woman’s worth. Feminism asserts that woman’s worth is of such a nature that it gives her the right to discern, judge, and govern that truth herself… Feminism does not present itself as at outright affront to the Bible, but it nevertheless contains an insidious distortion that erodes the authority of the Scripture. Acceptance of the feminist thesis may not drastically alter one’s initial beliefs, but if followed, it will naturally and logically lead to an end miles away from the Christianity of the Bible.” (p. 261)

What now? Why should you read this book if you are not a “biblical feminist” (or an egalitarian)? I assure you, sisters, that the rise of this movement is coming more rapidly and with more fury than we can even start to imagine. We need to be ready to discern it and be well grounded in the Word of God to be able to teach our daughters (and sons) the dangers of this lie.

Let us press hard and embrace our precious and wonderful calling which is good, because God said so. Let us not be afraid, sisters, to be named by God, to embrace the beauty of our place in His story.

“Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man’” Genesis 2:23

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

Mary Kassian blogs at Girls Gone Wise, and True Woman

 

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Love and Respect Your Calling

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Because this is too important not to read….

“Love and respect are both very transformative. A loved woman becomes more and more lovely, and respected men become more and more respectable. We all know this at a foundational level. It is true all over the world that when someone bestows love on something or someone, change is visible. I am not talking simply of emotions here – I mean the action of loving, or the action of respecting. Emotions follow actions, and it is one of the great myths of our time that love is an uncontrollable force, coming and going in ways beyond human control.”  Read the rest over at Femina today.

Becky