>How to Make Online Friends in a Real World

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You write emails and messages, and facebook statuses all year long. You have prayed over long distance friends, and shared your heart with them even though you have never seen into their eyes before. You have met these friends online, and now you love them and truly care for them. How can this be?
We met many of our online friends through an online school (the best, I dare to say) almost five years ago. And every year we go to the famous End of the Year Gathering where we all meet for a week to share laughs, words, hugs, tears. To look into our eyes, and gaze into the beauty of godly fellowship. 
Some of my closest friends are there, and some others, like Elizabeth, one of my best friends, I have met through the blogging world. How could this happen? Haven’t we been told that online friends are not real? That they do not belong to the real world?
We are now in a time where we can’t ignore the online world. It is part of us and we are part of it. My dearest sister and best friend lives in Canada while I live in Mexico, and yet we are in contact almost daily through all the new technologies that allow us to share those little things that make up our days.
Few of the things I have learned along with my children in this new world, new era, where online relationships do happen are these:
1. Know that there is a REAL person behind the screen. When I teach online, when I blog, when I send a facebook message, when I write or read an email; I know there is someone breathing on the other side. A person, a real one, with virtues and flaws. With good days and bad days. With a beautiful home that sometimes gets messy as mine. We are real people,  we are not “a thing” behind a screen.
2. Be YOU at all times. Be sincere, be real. When my dear friend Elizabeth and I sat on the same table to have lunch, for the first time after almost two years of being “online friends”, I was very happy to find “the Elizabeth” I knew I would find. We knew each other; we were not any different than the person that we show online. 
I have taught my children not to post ANYTHING that they would not say in person. When they started to learn how to relate in an online world, I would read their statuses and profiles, to make sure that they were being real. This is a very important thing to do at all times. As Christians, we are to be true to our faith on the family table, the mall, the farm, the school, facebook, etc. We cannot be double-minded. We must be always blameless children of God. 
3. Make it happen. This is the hardest part, but the most rewarding one: Go beyond the screen! Get the phone (or Skype which is cheaper if you have loved friends who live in the UK or Brussels). Listen to their voices, to their laugh, take the time to make it happen! Set a time, just as if you would go to a Starbucks to meet with your friend. It seems simple but it makes a world of a difference.
Now, try to meet them in person! This is what we must long for, to be with our online friends at a table, sharing the bread, and looking into their eyes.
This past week, as more than 400 people gathered in Lancaster, PA to celebrate the End of the Year Gathering, I kept my eyes open to see that true godly relationships can be built online where the Lord reigns among His people and His statutes are honored.  As one of our friend has said, “that week with these people was absolutely worth any pain that the good-byes may have wrought.”
I pray that God will help us live in this era of online relationships, true to our calling, honoring Him in all we do and say, praising Him with every word we write or read. 
Much love to you today, my dear friend!
Becky
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The picture above is of my little girl and her friends. Their lives have been brought together because of online friendships. This is the fourth year in a row that they get together to share laughs and songs!  My daughter cried when she said good-bye to them.

>The Marital Cup -by Elizabeth DeBarros-

>Today we celebrate the gift of marriage, today we stop and intentionally kiss longer the one our soul loves; today we give thanks for the gift of marriage!


Today is special too, because it’s Monday, the day this space is dedicated to give thanks to the Lord for His never ending mercies, so today, I give thanks for the gift God has given my dear friend, Elizabeth, a gift with words and and a passionate love for The Word. 

Thank you, Elizabeth,  for sharing today with us.

Still life with glassware and porcelain covered bowl, Willem Kalf 1662

Marriage is like handblown glass, delicate in substance but strong in construction. It can hold the vintage of years gone by. A cup blessed and preserved by God.

While love is as strong as death, marriage is fragile if only for the fact that two fallen individuals, a man and a woman brought together as one, commit to an exclusive bond for the rest of their days, come what may. Knowing that a covenant designed by God has His backing brings much-needed assurance.

But no marriage is unlike the first, where sin crept in to take its toll. Adam and Eve endured the worst — one son murdered the other, with God presiding as Witness and Judge. I imagine that as parents, partners and lovers, they fell into each other’s arms that night, searching for consolation from an unbearable wound, already aware that bitter herbs change the taste of things.

What keeps a marriage? Sustains it through life’s trials, cares and woes? Certainly not the froth left over from an elaborate wedding ceremony. As exciting and wonderful as the customary fanfare, wedding attire, rich foods, lavish gifts and honeymoon are, eventually helium dissipates, styles change, dishes break and pictures fade. None last, except perhaps in memories, a grace given when clouds ensue. And when they do, the strength of man proves weak indeed.

And apart from inviting family and friends to witness the ceremony and share in the festivities, what compels a man and a woman to stand before a crowd and declare that they will stay together, “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part?”

Only the nearness of God.

Our culture trends toward having the greater focus be on the wedding event — the more outlandish the better — ceremony only secondary to the trappings.Whether staged in a desert, on a rollercoaster, suspended from bungee cords or underwater, it’s all but forgotten that when vows are exchanged, God is the unseen Officiate. Even Christians need reminding of this in a day when selfishness runs rampant in the streets, and “freedom of choice” seeks to permeate our thinking to the point of abandoning all reason for the sake of pleasure and the pursuit of happiness. As comforting and wonderful as marriage can be, it’s ultimately a sacrifice and a crucible and less often a pleasure dome.

Without strong Biblical encouragement, we leave ourselves open to temptation by subtly diminishing the gift He sewed into the fabric of society to remind us of the mystery between Christ and the Church:

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and 
hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
This mystery is profound,
and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 
-Ephesians 5:31-32 (ESV)

Ultimately, marriage is for the glory of God. It’s not about happiness as much as it’s about holiness as He works through life’s circumstances to mold and shape us, conforming us into His image. Not only this, but He’s the third strand in the cord, serving as our strength and very present help. He whose eye is upon the hearts of all men isn’t blind. He sees every sacrifice, gesture, trial, hardship, desire, hope and dream. And He collects every tear in His bottle, storing them up in remembrance, keeping watch on the covenant made in His Name.

So lift up your marital cup to the Lord. Reflect through the glass on His faithfulness and the memories you’ve made, even the ones that stretched you in all directions, and ask yourself, “By Whose design?” Then bow lower still. Bless the partner of your youth by recounting your vows and enjoying one another. Understand that God is just as near today as He was when you both stood upon the altar before a future unknown — except for certain grey hair.

And remember that the cup belongs to Him. Ever the expert viticulturist patient to make perfect the bouquet of a fortified wine, let Him refresh it, fill it anew, pour out a blessing. Savor the long finish. He reserves the best for last.

Elizabeth

Details on Painting

©Elizabeth DeBarros. If you wish to use these lines please contact the author at Finding the Motherlode

Another guest post by Elizabeth:

Celebrating the Incarnation of Our Lord

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>Paper Hearts… Easy Projects for the Weekend

>I couldn’t resist sharing some pretty easy and fun crafts for the weekend. I hope you enjoy taking out you scissors, markers, and old books. If you don’t have time to do all these fun little projects, then go here and print these:

Eat-Drink-Chic

For the joy of making lots of paper hearts and hanging them around our house, we dismantled and old book and had so much fun cutting as many paper hearts as possible.

The result is this:

If you feel more like coloring, then this is the craft for you today.

Alisa Burke

May you have a wonderful weekend full of hearts, and love!

P.S. Don’t forget to check this great recipe… Chocolate and Dried Apricots Baguettes! 

>Year’s End Prayer

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O LOVE BEYOND COMPARE,

Thou art good when thou givest,
when thou takes away,
when the sun shines upon me,
when night gathers over me.
Thou hast loved me before the foundation of the world,
and in love didst redeem my soul;
Thou dost love me still,
inspite of my hard heart, ingratitude, distrust.
Thy goodness has been with me during another year,
leading me through a twisting wilderness,
in retreat helping me to asvance,
when beaten back making sure headway.
Thy goodness will be with me in the year ahead;
I hoist sail and draw up anchor,
With Thee as the blessed pilot of my future as of my past.
I bless Thee that thou hast veiled my eyes to the waters ahead.
If Thou hast appointed storms of tribulation,
Thou wilt be with me in them;
If I have to pass through tempests of persecution and temptation,
I shall not drown;
If I am to die,
I shall see thy face sooner;
If a painful end is to be my lot,
grant me grace that my faith fail not;
If I am to be cast aside from the service I love,
I can make no stipulation;
Only glorify thyself in me whether in comfort or trial,
as a chosen vessel meet always for thy use.
The Valley of Vision
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May you, my dear friend, have a most blessed
New Year!

I pray that God will grant us this year to Live in the Sacred…

To abide under His shadow,

To love Him more and 

rejoice more and more in Him.

May your days be filled with grace,

and His song be always in our mouth.

Another prayer worth praying…. A Prayer About New Year’s Eve by Scotty Smith

>Christmas by the Hour; How to Keep a Christ-Centered Christmas

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 I would love to share with you today a great family tradition we started three years ago that has helped us to keep Jesus at the center of our celebration in a very tangible, practical way every Christmas’s Eve followed by Christmas Day.

I start two weeks ahead to plan different activities, I jot down each of them and  keep them inside an envelope  in a basket. We keep an eye on the clock and every hour and a half  one of us (taking turns), goes to the basket and grabs and activity for all of us to do. Some of the activities are:

* Reading specific Bible verses which I write down beforehand and place in  little envelopes. The Gift of the Word is open.

* Singing Hymns. We have the name of several hymns (and the lyrics for them) in the basket. We bring Him worship.

* Reading short Christmas stories. Little kids enjoy this activity a lot; they like to remember the story of Jesus coming as a baby in a manger. We remember, we gaze at the miracle.

*  Praying, thanking. You might find a little note in an envelope saying: Lift up your voice in prayer. We come and bow down in prayer; He came to open the Way, He is the Way.

*  There will be some poetry to read that I found at Desiring God by John Piper. These poems are a beautiful way to remember, to worship, to ponder. I found this other poem that I will certainly include in the celebration’s basket…White.

*This year I want to include some other things to the basket…

Any suggestions?; What would YOU add?

May you start all your preparations full of anticipation and joy!


May God give you a Christmas full of Him!

 Please join us at Like a Bubbling Brook for a Parade of Christmas!

This is a repost from the archives (December 2009)

Celebrate the Incarnation of our Lord! Read other related posts…

Celebrating the Incarnation of our Lord – The Incarnation of our Lord is the heart of Christmas-
Celebrating the Incarnation of our Lord – A story for little souls-
Celebrating the Incarnation of our Lord – A guest post by Elizabeth DeBarros, Gifts We Bring-

 Related posts around the corner:

Have you thought about The Mystery of His coming? Please read this, over at Rebecca’s.
What about reading 12 Days of Christmas with Spurgeon?

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This post is linked to “Sharing Christmas” @ The Well

Praying the Psalms -Psalm 100

 

Folio 111 verso from a psalter (British Library, Stowe 2). Initial D from Psalm 100 (Beatus).

Thanksgiving is almost here, the last details are on our list and we are excited… It makes me happy to think that Thanksgiving is the opening door to the way that leads us to the Nativitity. We start with thanksgiving, with a grateful heart, we slow down to give thanks to the Almighty One for his mercies .

What a better way to prepare our hearts for this Advent season, and for the celebration of the Incarnation of our Lord?

Let us walk towards Bethlehem with thanksgiving in our hearts!

 

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, 
all the earth!
Make a joyful noise to the Lord,
O my soul!
Do not be quiet today,
praise Him out loud!
Serve the Lord with gladness!
Come, serve Him, O my soul,
For all that He has done,
Come and serve Him
in your home and family today!
Come into His presence with singing!
Join me little ones,
come with mom and dad and let us
enter today His presence with singing!
Know that the Lord, He is God!
It is he who made us, and we are His;
we are his people, and the sheep of 
his pasture.
God the Creator of all,
the Lord of lords,
has made us, and we are his!
We are His because He bought us
with a price.
We are His and not ours.
Our days are in His hands,
we are His sheep and
He nourishes our souls
and bodies.
Let us give Him thanks!
Let us make a joyful noise!
Let us serve Him with gladness!
Let us come into His presence with singing!
We can not see this and remain quiet,
we cannot see His goodness and not be glad.
We cannot see His new mercies every morning
and not be thankful!
Enter His gates with thanksgiving,
enter His courts with praise!
Give thanks to him; bless his name!
For the Lord is good;
his steadfast love endures forever,
and his faithfulness to all generations.
Lord, your goodness, your mercy,
your grace,
they are too wonderful to comprehend!
When fears try to threaten me,
I will raise my voice and give thanks
to you, O Lord,
who has promised me goodness,
and steadfast love,
and faithfulness to all generations!
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