Category Archives: Homeschooling

Of Boys and Men

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I have wanted to revive this blog for a while. And actually I have a list of things I want to write about but honestly I have been putting them off for another day. I am probably overthinking this blogging thing way too much… Maybe tomorrow? Is this a thing worth writing about? But today, a situation pushed one of the items on the list to the top with such a hard thrust that brought me to this blank page. So, sorry, Friends, there will be no “Welcome-back-to-the-blog-party” today.  That will have to wait.

pexels-photo-261909.jpegMoms of Boys, please, please don’t make excuses for your sons. Please! You will pretty soon regret doing that. Stop that habit now, it will destroy your dear son’s life.

I have been teaching, for almost 11 years, high-school students, and without a doubt, I can tell you that more and more I am seeing moms of boys excusing the irresponsibility of their sons.  And more and more moms are using their sons’ personality traits to do so. He is introverted. He is very smart but you just can’t see it. He is the most responsible 15 yo boy I know and the most hardworking one, but you are not extending enough Christian Grace to him. Please be more understanding and give him some room to grow.  He is too tired, he is growing up, you know? He was late to class because *I* forgot to wake him up, please don’t deduct points from his grade. etc. And so it goes. And so goes the destruction of their sons.

Proverbs speaks to all of us, of course, but it was originally written by a father to his son. And it is very interesting to see how the father urges his son to listen his mother’s instruction (1:8) and to not forsake the teachings of his mother (6:20). So clearly we moms have a huge role to play in the life of our sons. But how are going to use that influence? What we we teaching them? Are we instructing them with the Word of God in hand?

We read the articles around the web and we see what a terrible need there is for truly godly men to rise, for pious men to lead their families in the Lord, for godly men to own their responsibilities and step out and be brave and do the right thing. And at the same time we hear the big question resound all over, Where are these men?  I have no doubt that part of the answer is one that Moms of Boys must give.

I am not writing here to address the problem of lack of Father figures -of Father hunger, I am writing here to address the responsibility moms have in all this.

Moms of Boys, stop making excuses for your son. Let him own both, his own responsibility and his irresponsibility, and the consequences for both. Ask God to give you eyes to see what you don’t want to see. Ask God to open you eyes to see what others see in your son and you keep denying.  Ask God to give you a brave heart to say “No, I am not covering that lie anymore.” “No, I cannot keep this situation from your Dad.” “No, I cannot call your teacher to give the explanation you want me to give.”  And even this, “Yes, I agree with you, I believe that the grade your teacher gave you is unjust; but son, I believe that God is allowing this in your life to show you that in this world, not all things are just. You can learn so much from this. Toughen up and do it again. Honor God. Be a man.”

Behind a weak man, many times there is an overprotective mom, a mom that believes her son is the most wonderful, mature, and responsible young man in the world. Behind a weak man, many times there is a mom that puts every effort to make of every situation a safe-place for her son. Behind a weak man, many times there is a mom willing to be the one who faces the teacher or boss, or pastor while her son is playing video-games.

Moms of Boys, take heart, look up to Jesus, the Perfect Man and lean on Him for grace to do what He has called you do.

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

P.S. The only announcement today is this: many links in this blog are broken since we moved it from Blogger to WordPress, and it might take a while to repair them. Thanks for your understanding. 🙂

 

 

 

Teachers, Do Some Soul-prepping Before the School Starts.

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Course prepping and soul prepping; both are equally necessary before the school starts.  I have found this book perfect to tune my heart and get me ready to do what I love: teach.

Canon Press

“Love is not a sentiment. Love acts. Love studies. Loves gets into it. Love asks for details. Love works through difficulties, and answers tough questions. An effective teacher is not someone who skims over the surface od things. He wants to know more about all of this. He wants to know theology because he loves God. He wants to know life, because the school he teaches is located in the middle of that life. He wants to know his students’ middle names, and where they want to go to college, because he regards them as people -and not as carbon-based-receptacles for his upcoming data dump. And he knows his subject because every time he teaches this lesson, he learns something new.” Douglas Wilson, The Seven Disciplines of Highly Effective Teachers

Happy planning and prepping!

Becky

Homeschooling Conversations -Hundreds of Them-

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Photo credit: Lillian Rachel

Conversations about homeschooling, hundreds of them!- around coffee tables and the same questions over and over again (and I’ve wondered if there is a book out there entitled, “Questions to Ask a Homeschool Mom and her Children” that everyone has already read), and the looks, and the trying to persuade you to quit (for your children’s sake, and your own sanity), and the words: socialization, find-time-for-yourself, tolerance, really? have all been present every time. And of course I learned the correct answer to each of those questions, actually I had two kind of answers for each question: the simple, for the lady waiting on line in the supermarket or for the couple across our table in a business banquet; and the long one, for the moms that were also waiting with me for the gymnastic training or music lessons to be over.

And people asked all these questions and many looked down at us, and kept their eyes on us (even though they pretended not to be spying into our lives) because they were, in a certain way, expecting us to fail in this life experiment. So let me take a minute to answer the real question behind all those hundreds questions: Why did you start doing this?  To have smarter kids? No way. To have well socialized kids? Nope. So that they would not be “contaminated by the world.” Probably you haven’t realized that sin dwells in the heart of a lovely child, of a dad, of a mom; there is absolutely no need to look for it outside your own home. Or maybe you homeschooled your kids to keep them from all heart-breaking stories? No, no.  The reason to  start  -and persevere- on this journey has to be one that is so strong that becomes part of who you are. And what reason is strong enough to make us wake up early every morning, and help us keep pressing on when our heart faints and the tears run, and we know we have failed, and we just don’t know what lies ahead, but this: to bring up our children in the Covenant of God? Yes, yes! This is the real, strong reason behind the many books on the table, and the planners, and the board on the wall, and the mold growing in the cream-cheese in fridge (on purpose, of course). All these rhythms of life have become ours because we wanted -each day- to feed our children’s souls with God’s Word and hundreds of stories and we wanted to teach them to see the stars, and the ocean, and the Greeks, and the Aztecs, and Reubens, and Frida Khalo all through the light of the Scriptures. All through one lens: Truth. We wanted to live the daily, beautiful, God-given life together under God’s grace, under His Covenant.

And we are grateful, so incredibly grateful for the work of the Spirit in each one of our children and for the many ways in which He has faithfully kept them in His Covenant. We rejoice in our loving God and in His ways. We can proclaim with a loud voice: God is indeed faithful! He delights to keep His covenant. He is a God that loves to save children, families, and bless the generations of the righteous.

It’s already summer and this one will be different. We’ll pack the suitcases of two of our children who will be moving  2626.54 miles away from home, and I already miss them but to know that they are walking in the Covenant of Grace is enough to make my heart swell with gladness and rest assured that God will finish what He started in them -in us, in me-

“Wisdom is an ambitious woman. In Proverbs 8 she describes how she’s a catch. The knowledge to get power, wealth, competence and circumspection is hers, yet she delights to teach from her home. When Jesus says, Wisdom is vindicated by her children, his statement assumes that Wisdom is a homeschooling mom.” Dr. Michael Collender

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

In Grace, By Grace, and Under Grace -On Raising Our Children –

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My Man and I were talking in the car -trapped in traffic-, the tears and fears, and thousand questions were all there. It was 12 years ago, in that car, that we decided we were going to start homeschooling our children (three at the time). This was way too crazy for us to do, we personally didn’t  know any family doing this, we had really no idea on how to start or if it would work or not. What about socialization? And paper work? All those questions -and many more- were in our minds -in our hearts-. But it seemed that we didn’t have any other choice if we wanted to provide to our children an education that didn’t divorce our beliefs with what they were being taught at school. Not one Christian school was around for us to even consider that as an option (even now, there are only a few “Christian schools” that are only “Christian” in name -we live in Mexico City, remember?).

I tucked my children in bed that night, Santiago was 8, Annie 6 and Nico 4 (Isabel only existed in the plans of God at that time). And I kissed them with the kind of kiss that is mingled with tears. We loved our children, and we knew we had to be purposely involved in their education if we wanted to bring them up in the Covenant. That night, in my dreams, the Lord reminded me of a prayer I had prayed over and over in my teenage years, “Lord, I want to serve you full time. I want to be used by you to change the world, to fight for Your Kingdom, to be a godly influence in the world, to reach many, to touch lives.” And you know what? I remember how I cried so much every time I prayed this prayer because all the ideas I had about ministries that will change the world were always doors that were impossible to break through,  no matter how hard I tried to bring them down they remained closed. But this night was different. As the Lord reminded me of that prayer of my youth in my dreams, I knew He was graciously answering my prayer in a much unexpected way: I was given the opportunity to change the world, to fight for the Kingdom, to be a godly influence, to reach many, to touch lives by reaching to my children first.

Morning came and new mercies too. We still had a huge list of questions, fears, doubts, but the direction of the Lord for our family was clear. There was not turning back. And many new mornings came and each one brought new mercies with it.

Today classes are officially over at VPSA (one of the most important ways God answered to my fears!), and Annie and Nico (who decided to graduate earlier) finished highschool and will be joining Santiago in College next Fall. I look back now and cannot see anything but grace upon grace. Every day with them has been a day we started and finished in grace, by grace, and under grace. All our doubts and fears, and questions never conquered us, and not because we were too smart, or too disciplined, or too savvy, or had a great support group and many friends, nor even because we had the kind of faith that moves mountains. Oh no, we didn’t! We conquered the doubts and fears, and questions because we knew we were small and our God big. We took everyday five little stones and faced the Giant face to face, knowing in whom we had put our trust.  We obeyed and we trusted in Him because the well of mercy and grace never dried up.

Today I look at them, two young men and a young lady. And I see how they love each other with genuine love, how they long to be always together, how they support one another, how they enjoy being with our little Isabel. I see them well grounded in love and in the faith. I see them too raising their eyes to the horizon, getting hold of their own Sword and ready to fight Giants and Dragons. They are arrows ready to pierce the enemy. They are blessed warriors who long to build families and have their own quivers filled with children and raise them up in the Covenant of Grace.

And I give thanks to my God, because isn’t that the only natural response to a Grace-filled life?

Now I see Isabel, and think of how her journey will be very different. And because God hasn’t changed His orders for us, we’ll remain in this path. Again I have fears and doubts, and questions. Again I have tears in my eyes as I think of only having one child in our little homeschool. Again I think that this is crazy.  And yes, as my friend Ann says, I have “soul-amnesia.”

This time the encouragement comes not in a dream. The Lord used my son, Santiago, to remind me of the goodness and faithfulness of our God. He recounts the blessings, the answer to our prayers. “Mom, remember how you had no idea how you were going to teach us Logic, and Rhetoric, and Physics, and Algebra? Remember, Mom, how God provided for us an online school -a brand new school at the time- that was clearly an answer to your prayers [and how we found that school! An old catalog handed to me by someone who didn’t know anything about Classical Education and was given this catalog by a missionary when he left…]. Mom, remember this…. remember when… Remember, He will lead you now and show you what to do with Isabel. It will be good.”

So I look back and recount His blessings. And it is amazing how looking back and remembering His goodness, His hand leading us every day, gives us hope for the day ahead. I cling to my Rock one more time and I hold my peace.

It has been a long way, and it was lived day by day, minute by minute. Fully there, and fully aware that if the Lord didn’t build these children up, all we were doing was in vain. This has been a journey of grace and will continue to be so. I have messed things up many many times, I am a woman with many flaws. Many times I get behind in Math, and I’m not happy to do all the hands-on projects, and get -pretty ugly-mad- at them. But God, in spite of all my faults and shortcomings has heard my prayers and my cries and has given us grace to start each day, grace to continue, and grace to finish well. We have planted faithfully and have watered the seed of the Word in their hearts every day, all day, but God, and only God can make each seed grow and give fruit. And He has done so faithfully and I know He will continue to do it in this new stage of our family.

Today I remember this prayer of my youth, “Lord, I want to serve you full time. I want to be used by you to change the world, to fight for Your Kingdom, to be a godly influence in the world, to reach many, to touch lives.”  And I see how God has answered it as I look at each one of our children.

Under His Sun and by His grace,

Becky

Time to Do What the Lord Wills

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Photo Print by Laura Evans on Etsy

Some encouraging -and convicting- words from the pen of Elisabeth Elliot on the Discipline of Time:

“My times are in thy hand…” has become a part of my life. When the Lord has left me in agony of waiting over some decision, these words have put me a rest. His timing is always perfect, though it seldom seems to me, for my temperament longs for previews of coming attractions.”

 

“There is always enough time to do the will of God. For that we can never say, “I don’t have time.” When we find ourselves frantic and frustrated, harried and harassed and “hassled,” it is a sign that we are running on our own schedule, not on God’s”

On our way too long to-do lists:

“But the lists must be reviewed daily with the Lord, asking Him to delete whatever is not on His list for us, so that before we go to bed it will be possible to say, “I have finished the work You gave me to do.””

Are you feeling frustrated and worried about your endless lists of things to accomplish and places to go? Maybe it will be a good idea to be reminded of these simple truths:

“Frustration is not the will of God. Of that we can be quite certain. There is time to do anything and everything that God wants us to do. Obedience fits smoothly into His given framework. One thing that most certainly will not fit into it is worry.”

 

“Direct your time and energy into worry, and you will be deficient in things like singing with grace in your heart, praying with thanksgiving, listening to a child’s account of his school day, inviting a lonely person to supper, sitting down to talk unhurriedly with wife or husband, writing a note to someone who needs it.”

 

“People wish they had more leisure time. The problem is not too little of it, but too much of it poorly spent.”

On our time spent with the Lord:

“Time management…begins for the Christian with time set aside for God. Other things cannot fall into a peaceful order if this is omitted.”

All these quotes come from the book, Discipline: The Glad Surrender.

Becky

For the Imperfect Moms -Like Me-

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That unnameable quality has descended upon the household; when summer crashes hard and school quietly yearns in our bones. Elizabeth DeBarros

Tomorrow we start school; the books are waiting to be opened, and a new school year is awaiting for us. It has been many years since we started homeschooling our children, and to think that our oldest is now starting his second year in college is unbelievable. And yet, I find myself having the same thoughts I have had for more than ten years at this time of the year: I am so imperfect, how am I going to do this?

But God has the answer to all my imperfections, to my shortcomings, to my doubts:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

As I read this verse, I breath in grace. How wonderful it is to be reminded that it is He the One who sustains me in this journey. It is because of Him that I can start the race, run, and finish it well.

Someone once said -and I have never forgotten those words,- that the moment we stop seeing the education of our children as a Giant is because we have forgotten how important it is. I agree, and at the same time we all know that a Giant is impossible to conquer without fighting. This is where I find the crux of the matter: the battle against the Giant is not fought on my own strength; it is always fought with the power of Christ, with His grace that is made perfect in my weaknesses, in my imperfections.

And so I put on the last books on the shelves, and sharpen the pencils, and get on my knees.

May we all learn to depend on His grace as we fight the Giant.

Becky