When Your Friend Bites You

Our Little One had been asking for a hamster for a long time, so last weekend, we my husband finally said yes. This was going to be the first time we would open our home to a cute rodent, while at the same time providing him with an expensive house, special food, and a colorful playground. She named him Rugby (yes, you guessed it right, her older brother suggested the name, and because she loves him so much she agreed).

Rugby has not been in this home more than a week and he already broke this little girl’s heart.

Two days ago my Little One came running and crying (and this is not common for her to do), her finger bleeding and the words coming out from her heart, “Rugby bit me! It hurts really bad!” I did what a mother is supposed to do. Not panicking (while my son is reassuring me, “Mom, it’s going to be OK. This hamster is not infected with rabies…) I washed her finger like 20 times (maybe 30) and hugged her and put a band-aid around the deep bite.

I hugged her while she was still sobbing. Then she said, “Mom, Rugby was so calm when I reached to pet him. I thought he would never bite me. I thought he was my friend.”

This is one of those hard lessons to learn: When our friends (those that we thought were true friends) bite us, it hurts deeply.

They know where to bite, they know what would hurt us, and without thinking, when we don’t expect it, they bite and we just can’t believe it. And we soon find ourselves crying. It hurts. It really does.

What do we do? Should Our Little One abandon Rugby? Starve him to death? No, we are trying to persuade her not to do so (even though she is not speaking to him anymore).

And what do we do with the friends that bite us? Ignore them? No. Let’s feed them love and forgiveness.

Jesus taught us to do this. To love the unlovable. To love our enemies. To forgive over and over and over again those that bite us.

Peter Leithart in his commentary on Samuel says about David and his response to Saul’s hatred,

“Long before  Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount, David had discerned that the Lord required love for enemies.”

Learning about His Perfect Love, under His sun, and by His Grace,

 

Becky

The Doctrine of Love: Our Identity as Christians

©Annie Pliego Photography

 

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Jesus

Having a strong, biblical foundation based on solid doctrine is essential in the life of all Christians. It keeps us humble to know, for example,  that we have been saved by God’s grace and that we did not choose Him, but that He chose us. It help us not despair in our daily battle against sin the wonderful doctrine of the Perseverance of the Saints. He will not let us go. He who has called us will never leave us nor forsake us. He who began a good work in us is able to complete it. Our salvation, from A-Z depends only in the work of Christ Jesus, and that is strong, comforting doctrine. The doctrine of the Sovereignty of God is what gives us hope when all seems to be falling apart, when there are many questions and a few answers. That He is ruling this world and that he knows the number of the hairs on my head, makes a whole world of a difference. The way we approach God in prayer, the way we live our lives, the way we respond to sin, the way we deal with the desires of our hearts, all we do depends on the doctrines on which we stand.

There is one doctrine, however, that we sometimes leave on the side. We know it is there and we pretend to know it well until differences arise and conflict comes our way, I am talking about the doctrine of love.

Maybe because it has been abused in so many Christian traditions in which love has been preached without a biblical backbone, with no doctrinal frame, we tend to minimize its importance. We know we must love, but in reality we care more about being zealous for truth than in laying down our lives for others.

We pass by the wounded and do nothing because we are too busy defending our doctrinal righteousness.  Jesus, our model to follow, did both: He touched the unclean,  and sat and ate with the sinners while preaching Truth, while preaching repentance of sins. Paul and Silas helped the sick and the widows while defending Truth.

The first Christians were persecuted for preaching the Truth without compromise, while at the same time they were known by the love amongst themselves. Tertullian (c. A.D. 200) wrote,

“It is mainly the deeds of a love so noble that lead many to put a brand upon us. “See,” they say, “how they love one another,” for they themselves are animated by mutual hatred. “How they are ready even to die for one another!” For they themselves will sooner put to death… . No tragedy causes trouble in our brotherhood, [and] the family possessions, which generally destroy brotherhood among you, create fraternal bonds among us. One in mind and soul, we do not hesitate to share our earthly goods with one another. All things are common among us but our wives. (Apology 39)”

We should pay more attention and study with more zeal the doctrine of love; while praying earnestly that the Lord will lead us into repentance for the many times we have not shown true love for Him (and His Word) because of our lack of love for those around us. Our identity as Christians, the way we should be known even today, must be the way we  deeply love and care for one another. It is not an option; just as it is not an option to believe in the importance of salvation by faith and not by works.

In the past few months I have been digging deep into this, searching the Scriptures and my heart. And it is not easy to find the balance needed to live this out. It is not easy because we love Truth, and because we want to defend it. It is not easy because we know that false teachers do destroy families, and churches, and lead many astray,  and we do not want to compromise the Truth of God, we want to stand firm on the Word of God and reach out to those whom we see in danger. But Jesus (and his disciples) taught us that it is possible to do both. We can love our neighbors and our enemies without compromising the Truth of God. And it is possible to do so, because that is exactly what we have been commanded to do.

My husband and my children are witnesses of the struggle of my heart as I have been learning these lessons, as I seek answers to these questions. I love Jesus and I want to love my neighbors as well as my enemies. I want to be known as a Christian.

If you want to dig deeper into this doctrine I would suggest that you study in depth (get an expository commentary) 1st John, the Sermon of the Mount, and the epistle to the Galatians. Two other books that have helped me to understand all this (and have made me cry more than once) are: Loving the Way Jesus Loves by Ryken, and If You Bite and Devour One Another: Biblical Principles for Handling Conflict by Alexander Strauch.

May God draw us to Him, so that we may be drawn to love those around us.

Still learning,

Becky

What Good is a Story?

Today I may be found at  Elizabeth’s place, my friend and mentor in so many ways.

ISN’T OUR LIFE LIKE A SERIES of short stories? Many events, many seasons, many characters. Some we love and some we don’t. Some characters remain in our lives forever, and some are gone before we had ever wished them to leave.

We plan our lives just like Barbara Kingsolver, just like our neighbor, our friend; just like those who seek God and those who are always running away from Him. We “put a tidy plan on our calendars,” and without a warning we all are hit by the unexpected. The squares on our wall calendar seem to fall down as pieces from a puzzle and we feel like we don’t know how to live our days anymore. And through it all, and as best we can, we keep trying to read the stories within the story. 

Please, join me as we discuss What Good is a Story? by Barbara Kingsolver at Finding The Motherlode…


Becky

It Is Wise to Anticipate Old Age

100 Days of Books

Today I am humbled and grateful for the opportunity to be sharing over at Desiring Virtue. Please, come and read…

Just as you can’t understand how quickly your little one has passed through the diaper stage, or how fast your son has grown into a young man who now has eyes to see a beautiful lady and buy flowers for her; one day you’ll come to the mirror and find an older woman’s reflection. If you are not ready, you will find yourself asking, “When did this happen?” 

You may keep on reading here.

For the Imperfect Moms -Like Me-

That unnameable quality has descended upon the household; when summer crashes hard and school quietly yearns in our bones. Elizabeth DeBarros

Tomorrow we start school; the books are waiting to be opened, and a new school year is awaiting for us. It has been many years since we started homeschooling our children, and to think that our oldest is now starting his second year in college is unbelievable. And yet, I find myself having the same thoughts I have had for more than ten years at this time of the year: I am so imperfect, how am I going to do this?

But God has the answer to all my imperfections, to my shortcomings, to my doubts:

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

As I read this verse, I breath in grace. How wonderful it is to be reminded that it is He the One who sustains me in this journey. It is because of Him that I can start the race, run, and finish it well.

Someone once said -and I have never forgotten those words,- that the moment we stop seeing the education of our children as a Giant is because we have forgotten how important it is. I agree, and at the same time we all know that a Giant is impossible to conquer without fighting. This is where I find the crux of the matter: the battle against the Giant is not fought on my own strength; it is always fought with the power of Christ, with His grace that is made perfect in my weaknesses, in my imperfections.

And so I put on the last books on the shelves, and sharpen the pencils, and get on my knees.

May we all learn to depend on His grace as we fight the Giant.

Becky

 

 

Heartbeat by Sharon Creech -My Review-

HeartbeatHeartbeat by Sharon Creech

My review -is this really a review? I am not sure-.

I cried
cried,
cried.
The kind of cry
that closes your
throat
and will not let you speak.

My little one
and I
curled together,
we both loved the book.

We are buying an apple,
and choosing a list
of many forbidden words.
We will take out our thesaurus
and we’ll write,
write,
write.

I closed the book
and looked at her
I don’t really want her to run.
But I know she will,
and I will see her running,
and I will cheer her,
and I will be there,
and I will love her
very, very, very much.

View all my reviews

Becky