From Diapers to Adulthood -Why Every Struggle Counts-

Screen Shot 2019-03-22 at 7.24.06 PMGod has brought me close to three beautiful mommas of young children, three wonderful friends with whom I enjoy sharing prayers, laughs, meals, coffee, deserts that involve chocolate and berries, and messes that only 3-10 yo children can make.  Yesterday we had a conversation about the difference between the battles and struggles mommas of young children have to deal, with those that mommas of adult children face.

And you know what, momma of little ones? That conversation made think of you. Don’t feel bad when older women come to you, give you that particular look, a pat on the back, and say somehow sarcastically, “Oh, don’t fret over potty training, or school choices, those are nothing compared to what you will be dealing with in a few years.” or “Seriously? That tantrum will be nothing in a few years from now. Just wait, one day you will be wishing it all were about little things like this one…

The seemingly small battles are not small battles at all. The problem is that sometimes we are not used to see the big picture, the whole story; we are so tangled up in our daily duties and to-do lists, that we forget what we are actually doing with those little ones we have at our table every morning spilling milk on the floor. Keep this in mind, every decision we face, everyno,” everyyes,” every step we take (or not take) is important because day after day, over and over, we are building character in our children’s lives. The over-looked tantrums of a two year old boy, will eventually turn into the slamming of a door of a teenager, and then into a husband who yells at his wife. With every decision, with every moment of discipline, with every hug, with every book we read aloud, and with every prayer we are building an adult’s character.

And if you are the mom of adult children, please, don’t despise the struggles of younger mommas. Encourage them instead to persevere, to keep pressing on. Remember that you were once changing diapers and asked in every single online forum help on how to choose the best how-to-read curriculum; remember that you didn’t know how to teach your little one how to be polite and look in the eye of the elderly woman at church; remember that every time you asked your child to turn off his game-boy when having company (iPods were not in the market yet) was a big thing.

Each struggle, each decision that my husband and I have made in the last 20 years has brought us to where we are now with our young adult children. There were no short-cuts; it has been a day after day race.

So be encouraged; what you do today is important, is your vocation, is what God has appointed for you to do in this season. You are not just doing ordinary things. You are building lives. Read that again: You are building lives. Your words and example, your time and prayers, your hugs and the correction you firmly give in love, all are needed in the process. Don’t be weary of doing what is good. God has promised that in due season you will reap, if you don’t give up.

Becky

The White Dragon and The Promised One

The Magpie, Claude Monet

-Please, momma, tell me the Christmas story again. All of it. 

-Come, let’s sit by the Christmas Tree, little One.

This season of the year reminds us of The Story that changed all stories, just like all the decorations in our home remind us of how this Story changed us.

Spring, the season in which life comes forth pushing hard through the icy ground seeking sunlight, air, space, reminds us of the coming of our Savior into a world full of Winter; a world in which the White Dragon, who was called that not because he was good, but because he always was dressed like an Angel of Light to disguise people, ruled.

All creation was in a long Winter, the White Dragon was a cruel ruler and kept the eyes of men blind and their ears deaf. All was cold and arid, but some knew about the Promise of Life that the King of Light had given the world from the beginning, and they patiently waited for Him, the Messiah. They waited for Him to come and break the ice and melt the coldness in the hearts of men, and open their eyes to see and their ears to hear. Day after day, they kept expecting the Promise of Life. Spring came, then Summer, Fall…and Winter. Again. Year after year they longed for His appearance.

The Dads and Moms kept telling their children about the Great Promise: The Promise of Life. And when they died, their children told their children about it. Some got tired of waiting and abandoned all hope and were content to worship golden calves and wooden gods. But God (and, Oh! How I love that phrase, “But God!”) always kept a remnant, and He himself nourished their faith and hope. They kept searching the Scriptures, they kept longing for the Advent of the Seed that would break the head of the White Dragon.

One night, when there was a lot of buzz in a tiny city (a city so small that only those who read the Book knew about its existence and always kept an eye on it) a star shone like no one had ever done before. It was so bright that the White Dragon trembled, but he did not understand why. Because, remember, the White Dragon even though he was very powerful, he did not know all things, he knew he was going to be crushed to death on the head but he did not know the time. He did not understand the Seasons.

And that is why we now fill our house with lights. We want the world to know that here, in our home, in our hearts the Promise lives.

But, going back to the star and the tiny city… There in the most unexpected place, a beautiful young lady was about to give birth to her first son. Her husband was there, holding her hand, praying for her, comforting her. There were not doctors or midwives to help them. He did not know exactly what to do. Trying to find clean cloths and lukewarm water was not easy. And then, when her face was full of tears and her body full of sweat, the Baby cried. He was alive. And they kissed him and she cried and her husband held her tight and kissed her forehead and they worshiped The Promise Giver  and The Promised One, and Heaven was rejoicing. The time had come. The Promised One had finally come!

The hard soil in the World full of Winter began to thaw.

The angels rejoiced in such a manner that they could not stay in Heaven; they had to be heard and seen by humans, they had to announce to the World the great news of great joy. They chose a group of shepherds, not the nice kind of shepherds that some artists like to paint, remember little one, that those shepherds were like the people we sometimes avoid in the streets. But they chose them to tell us something about the Promised One: He was coming to transform the hearts of men no matter what kind of people they were.

The White Dragon heard about all this while visiting the castle of a king name Herod. He has there behind the king’s throne when a group of Wise Men, dressed with fine clothes stood before the king and asked him if he knew where was the Real King to be found, the Newborn King, the Promised One. When the king heard this he trembled and the White Dragon started to speak into his ear, “Calm down.  Tell them you also want to go worship him. Maybe they will tell you where he is to be found. Then you can go and kill him. You are the king and this babe is a threaten to your kingdom… ” While king Herod was repeating those exact words to the Wise Men, the White Dragon murmured… “I must kill Him. He is. He is the One.” and he was trembling and was full of fear and fury.

But the King of Light kept the Promised One safe. Through visions and dreams the Wise Men knew that they should not tell king Herod were the Prince of Light was staying. And the humble family with their hands full of gifts that helped them pay for a long trip moved to a land known as Egypt. A land which reminded them of the time  when their forefathers were slaves and were delivered in a glorious way by the only true Promise Keeper, by the mighty Hand of the Savior of Nations. There, in that barren land they hid.

As you can imagine, my little one, king Herod and the White Dragon became furious when the Wise Men did not come back to tell them about the new born King. And full of hatred and fear the White Dragon spoke again into the king’s ear, “Kill them all. All the babies. Get rid of them all!” And the king agreed. This had to be done. Yes, that is also part of this story, little one. Women, men, children, all were crying desperately out in the streets. The White Dragon was out there too, inflaming the hearts of each soldier carrying a sword with revenge and hatred, he kept blowing cold ice into their hearts, eyes and ears so that they could not see what they were doing, and could not hear the cries for mercy. Meanwhile, King Herod was drinking wine and eating figs in his castle.

That night was dreadful. But King Herod and the White Dragon were sure they had won the battle so they feasted until morning. But God, and yes… But God! (and never forget that those two words can change the course of any story) He could not be conquered by powerful men or dragons.

No one knew yet what was going to happen. All seemed the same for a few more years. The Pharisees and Scribes kept teaching in the synagogues and loading people with such heavy burdens that they could not carry themselves. The tax collectors were still stealing from men. The merchants in the Temple were making more money each day. The lepers, the blind, the deaf all were begging for money, for mercy. Some women were entangling men with sweet words, perfumes, good looks; others were spending all their money trying to find a cure for their sickness. Some men were fishing, others learning how to make tents, and others learning the Scriptures at the feet of great teachers. No one really knew what was about to happen.

But one day, when the Promised One was about thirty years old, he came to be baptized and something that has only happened once took place. The Heaven was opened and the Father of Light, the Promise Keeper spoke and announced that this was His Son, His Beloved Son, the Prince of Peace, the Promised One. And the Spirit of God came in the form of a dove and rested upon Him. And all was glorious and the icy hard soil of the World full of Winter kept breaking up, little by little.

Little one, can you imagine that? WOW! It’s one of those amazing mysteries that surround this story and make us see what a fascinating thing His appearance is.  Oh, what a moment I am sure that was!

The Promised One walked among men and women. Rich and poor, healthy and sick. He taught them in the synagogues and on the mountains.  By the sea and around tables full of great food and wine. He went to weddings and held children in His arms to bless them. He healed and delivered many from the diseases and chains that the White Dragon had placed on them. He got very angry too against all the merchants in the temple. He brought back to life many that had died. He cried too.

The White Dragon started to see the signs of Spring, of Life. He knew then that the Promised One did not die that one night when many innocent babies were slaughtered. He had to come with a plan soon. He had to destroy the Prince of Peace. This time he whispered to the ears of the Pharisees and Scribes, “Kill him. He says He is One with God. Kill him. He will bring down all your teachings and you will lose your power. See? People are following Him. Kill him!” And they heard him, and agreed. And starting to plot a way to do so.

But you know what, little one? These men who bragged about how much they knew the Scriptures, did not see that it was written in the Book that it was them who were going to be part of the scheme to kill the Promised One.

The White Dragon then came and spoke into the ear of one of the Promised One’s closest friends. He spoke convincingly and blew coldness into his heart, filled it with greed, and seared his conscience. Judas was his name. He did not have silver or gold, but he had Jesus; sadly, he rather had silver and gold than Jesus. He gave up everything to follow his greedy heart and instead of finding forgiveness and life under the One Tree, he found his death on a tree.

The Promised One was praying on the mount. His friends were asleep while He was sweating drops of blood. Yes, little one, you heard me well, drops of blood. That tells us of how anguished he was. He was becoming obedient to the point of death and death on the cross. He was getting ready to drink the cup of God’s wrath, to crush the White Dragon’s head. To free his own.

Men and women came in the dark up to the mount. This time, however, they did not come to listen to him teaching, nor to be fed. They did not bring their children so that He would bless them, he brought them to see how the God Man, the Promised One, their only Hope was being taken away.

They followed him, watched from behind, many laughed, they were being entertained, amused to see how the soldiers mocked and hurt with cruelty the Prince of Peace. They placed a crown of thorns on his head. The thorns that represented all the sins of the world. The thorns that sprung forth from the earth that day so long ago, in which the first man and woman ate the forbidden fruit that the White Dragon offered them.

The crown of thorns was made up of all the sins that the world has ever known, and as they brutally placed it on him, it pierced the Messiah’s forehead. The White Dragon, said to himself, “So you thought you were going to crush me on the head?” And he laughed nervously.

Almost everyone (one did not, but instead hid in fear) followed closely the series of events that came one right after the other one. The whipping, the mocking, the tearing off his clothes, the trial, the loud voices, the confusion, His silence. They followed him through the Via Dolorosa up to Golgotha.

The White Dragon was there. You could see his reflection in the eyes of the soldiers when they laughed at Jesus. You could hear him in the laugh of the mockers. The trees were not clapping. Yet. The stars in heaven were silent. The angels were expectant. The women were crying.

One man took the nails and drove them through his own Creator’s hands and feet and nailed Him to the cross, avoiding at all times his eyes, eyes full of staggering mercy.  The White Dragon watched closely but did not understand why every time one of the Promised One’s drops of blood fell on the ground the Winter land thawed more and more.

In a moment, all heard the One on the Cross cried with a loud voice, “It is finished!” and as he expired, a great darkness descended over all, the earth shook, the rocks broke their silence. The veil of the temple was torn. “This can not be happening,” the White Dragon thought and shrieked loudly.

Three days of waiting, of crying, of wondering what had really happened. Three days of losing all hope. Three days of forgetting all the Words, all the promises. Three days of darkness.

But God… But God!... had spoken from the beginning and He is not like a man to lie, His promises are all truth and Amen. He, the Promise Giver, The Promise Keeper, the Father of Light had spoken and Jesus, Oh, and listen to this carefully, little one, Jesus, the Promised One, the Savior of the world rose from the death conquering death, defeating the White Dragon, setting the captives free from the bondages of sin. Oh, what a glorious truth!

This is, my little one, the story of Christmas.This is the Grand Story, The Story that changes all stories.

This is why Christmas is good news, why we celebrate, and why we are glad and rejoice.  Let’s be merry, let’s be glad. The Promised One has come!

Merry Christmas!

Becky

Saturday’s Seven -Our Favorite Breakfast Cake and Some Book Recommendations-

My friend Hollie is sharing today on her blog a list of seven things –happenings– in her family, I decided I will jump in and share the Saturday’s Seven around here…

1. Today is one of those quiet, slow Saturdays in which we had breakfast at noon.

2. Talking about breakfasts, a favorite breakfast cake in our home comes from Alexandra’s kitchen: Buttermilk-Blueberry Breakfast Cake. Note that I always double the recipe and we eat it all during the weekend. I also like to make scrambled eggs with pesto,  or with goat cheese and herbs, or chives and cream cheese, or even with sun-dried tomatoes and grated manchego cheese. Bacon or breakfast sausages on the side are most welcome.

Coffee, of course, is always ready when the sun starts to come in through our windows.

3. I have been enjoying the new blog that some of my friends started a while ago. It is called Out of the Ordinary, I would like to encourage you to subscribe to it and read it on a regular basis. There is so much that I have to learn from God-fearing, Word-loving women like them.

4. It is really sad to see how many young evangelical women are embracing feminism. Some of my friends and I have been seeing this problem in our different countries, which tells us that it is an issue that we need to be ready to address no matter where we live. Feminism is a disease that is creeping into the church and we need to stand firm against it.

I just finished reading Women, Slaves, and the Gender Debate: A Complementarian Response to the Redemptive-Movement Hermeneutic by Reaoch. This is a book that you don’t just read, it is a book that you study. You need to sit down with a notebook, a pen, and your Bible. I recommend this book to those women  who really want to understand the gender debate and are willing to go deeper.

This week I started reading, The Feminist Mistake by Kassian, I will perhaps, write a review (only if time permits it). Some other books on this topic that are highly recommended are:  God’s Good Design: What the Bible Really Says About Men and Women by Claire SmithWhat’s The Difference: Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible by John Piper, and Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World by McCulley.

 

5. A wonderful book for children that I am loving is Wise Words: Family Stories that Bring the Proverbs to Life.  The description says (and I agree),

“In the tradition of Grimm’s fairytales, Peter Leithart has produced a wonderful collection of whimsical, yet meaningful, bedtime stories. The characters in each story are as varied as the biblical proverbs they reveal. Meet a chatty squirrel with a secret, or find out what happens when you run up against the Ministry of Nasty Smells. Sure to delight children ages five and up, but no promises they’ll be asleep by the time the story’s over.”

6. I can’t believe I am already on day 52 of my photography challenge “100 Days of Books.” It has been so much fun!  Many of you have been visiting me there… Thank you!

7. I am thinking about having someone redesigning my blog. I have an idea in my mind that I know you all will love. Sometimes changing the look of a place is good, don’t you think? We’ll see if it happens soon.

Happy Weekend, my friends!

Becky

 

@ The Dermer Family

When Your Friend Bites You

Our Little One had been asking for a hamster for a long time, so last weekend, we my husband finally said yes. This was going to be the first time we would open our home to a cute rodent, while at the same time providing him with an expensive house, special food, and a colorful playground. She named him Rugby (yes, you guessed it right, her older brother suggested the name, and because she loves him so much she agreed).

Rugby has not been in this home more than a week and he already broke this little girl’s heart.

Two days ago my Little One came running and crying (and this is not common for her to do), her finger bleeding and the words coming out from her heart, “Rugby bit me! It hurts really bad!” I did what a mother is supposed to do. Not panicking (while my son is reassuring me, “Mom, it’s going to be OK. This hamster is not infected with rabies…) I washed her finger like 20 times (maybe 30) and hugged her and put a band-aid around the deep bite.

I hugged her while she was still sobbing. Then she said, “Mom, Rugby was so calm when I reached to pet him. I thought he would never bite me. I thought he was my friend.”

This is one of those hard lessons to learn: When our friends (those that we thought were true friends) bite us, it hurts deeply.

They know where to bite, they know what would hurt us, and without thinking, when we don’t expect it, they bite and we just can’t believe it. And we soon find ourselves crying. It hurts. It really does.

What do we do? Should Our Little One abandon Rugby? Starve him to death? No, we are trying to persuade her not to do so (even though she is not speaking to him anymore).

And what do we do with the friends that bite us? Ignore them? No. Let’s feed them love and forgiveness.

Jesus taught us to do this. To love the unlovable. To love our enemies. To forgive over and over and over again those that bite us.

Peter Leithart in his commentary on Samuel says about David and his response to Saul’s hatred,

“Long before  Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount, David had discerned that the Lord required love for enemies.”

Learning about His Perfect Love, under His sun, and by His Grace,

 

Becky

A Poem for Little Souls: The Lord’s Day Evening

 

 

Lord, how delightful ’tis to see
A whole assembly worship thee!
At once they sing, at once they pray;
They hear of heaven, and learn the way.

I have been there, and still would go,
‘Tis like a little heaven below;
Not all my pleasure and my play
Shall tempt me to forget this day.

Oh, write upon my memory, Lord,
The texts and doctrines of thy word;
That I may break thy laws no more,
But love thee better than before.

With thoughts of Christ, and things divine
Fill up this foolish heart of mine;
That, hoping pardon through his blood,
I may lie down and wake with God.

Isaac Watts
Divine and Moral Songs for Children

May the Lord bless you this day, dear friends.
Becky

Also by Isaac Watts, A Poem for Little Souls: The Lord’s Day Morning

A Poem for Little Souls: The Lord’s Day Morning by Isaac Watts.

This is the day when Christ arose
So early from the dead;
Why should I keep my eyelids closed,
And waste my hours in bed?

This is the day when Jesus broke
The powers of death and hell;
And shall I wear Satan’s yoke,
And love my sins so well?

To-day with pleasure Christians meet,
To pray and hear thy Word;
And I would go with cheerful feet,
To learn thy will, O Lord.

I’ll leave my sport to read and pray,
And so prepare for heaven;
Oh, may I love this blessed day
The best of all the seven!

Isaac Watts
Divine and Moral Songs from Children

Have a blessed Lord’s Day, dear friends.

 

Becky