Category Archives: Being a Mom

And the winner is….!!!

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YAY!!! We have a winner (since yesterday but life was crazy and I couldn’t find the time to announce it!) of the book You Never Stop Being a Parent:

The winner is Jenny Story!!

Your book will be on your way soon, my Friend! 🙂

Thank you to all who mentioned here and on the Facebook page that you will be reading along. I am so excited about this,  I am sure we will learn a lot.

If you are just jumping in and have no idea of what I am talking about read this. We will “meet here” on February 5 to discuss the Introduction and Chapter 1.

Blessings and good night!

Becky

Because I Want you to Read Along -A Book Giveaway-

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I don’t know if it’s only me, but I can hardly find blogs, books, or good articles to encourage women who, like me, are entering this new stage in life in which “all of a sudden” you are a mom of young adult children. Soemtimes Nancy Wilson at Femina, and Carolyn Mahaney at Girltalk have some pretty good -and challenging- stuff for us, but for the most part, what is written out there is directed towards young moms.

Yesterday I shared about a book I will start reading and, God willing, blogging about starting on February 5. This book, You Never Stop Being a Parent: Thriving in Relationship with Your Adult Children,  will certainly be a blessing to many women who are asking themselves many questions like how their role as a mom changes once their children become adults. So, today, and because I really want you to join me reading in along, and because I know some of my friends are purposely not buying any more books on 2014 (only after they finish the pile they already have at home!), I have decided to give away one copy of this book.

 

An invitation to read along

So if you want your name to be in the drawing, just leave a comment here. I will announce a winner next  Wednesday, January 22 (USA only).

And if you are not in this season of life yet, make sure to pass the voice among your friends, and don’t forget to enter your name in there; if you win, you can give the book to your friend, you know she will be very happy, right?

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

So, I am the Mom of Adult Children; What do I do Now? -And an Invitation to Read a Book among Friends-

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There comes a day when three of your children are in college, and right after that comes the day in which the oldest of them bows on his knee to propose marriage to a beautiful young lady. That day you know you are, without a doubt, in a different stage of life. So you smile, swallow hard, and give thanks.

Yes, that’s it. The tiny hands pulling from your skirt, the toys all over, the three-lines songs about chickens and cows are way past gone. No more diapers, no more hours trying to choose the best homeschool curriculum, no more multiplication tables or Latin chants. You are, finally, living in the days which, for the first months in the life of your oldest child, you were sure were never going to come. Yes, oh yes, children do grow up. Pretty fast. In front of our eyes. Eating our food -soul food and body food- And it doesn’t matter if at times we feel like we don’t even know when or how in the world that thing happened.

We believe we are, finally, in the stage in which the sleepless nights are gone…

Oh, wait.

Seriously?

No, not really. We now pray all night while they sleep.

Now, as I see my son and his fiancé planning their wedding; as I listen to my daughter’s deepest heart’s beats as she starts a courtship relationship; as I listen attentively to my youngest son’s dreams; and as I pay attention and watch the way he is building those dreams with his own hands, I find myself asking,  What do I do now? What am I suppose to do now, Lord?

Three words keep coming to my heart (my words for 2014) as I try to answer these questions:

Grow where you are. In this new stage of life, learn and grow.

Build bridges among them and towards them.

Edify their lives with words and deeds.

I know well that in order to grow I first need to learn. Learn new rhythms, new patterns; I must learn how to play on the stage of life the new roles God has assigned me. And just as I read dozens of books on parenting, and childrearing, and potty training, and the reproduction of brain cells in the early stages of life -listening to Mozart, of course-, I now need to sit down again and read to learn.

I want to learn how to be a faithful mom of adult children, a wise mother-in-law, and a good wife to my husband in this new and unknown season of our life together.

Perhaps you too are entering into this new season or maybe you are already changing the diapers of your grandchildren! It doesn’t really matter, I am thinking that we should read this one book along, and then come and sit together here, once a week, to discuss it and encourage one other to learn and grow so that we can effectively build relationships with our sons and daughters, as well as keep edifying their lives.

Will you join me?

Buy through Grace and Truth Books

The book: You Never Stop Being a Parent: Thriving in Relationship with Your Adult Children by Elise Fitzpatrick and Jim Newheiser

The plan: A chapter a week starting on February 5 (there are 10 chapters, a conclusion and four appendixes). I would love, ideally, to finish it on April 2.

You have enough time to order your book and get it before February 5. I really hope you can join me, I am sure it will be a blessing.

Grow, Build, and Edify in Him and through Him,

Becky

How Do You Tell His Story to Your Children?

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As I read Psalm 145 this morning I kept thinking of the amazing privilege that we have as parents to tell God’s story to our children. We know that it is our responsibility before God to do so, but how are we doing that?

Go to Psalm 145 and meditate on it. Isn’t it a great psalm that teaches us how are we to tell our children about God’s wondrous works? This Psalm is a song of joy, of victory, of praise. I cannot imagine the Psalmist telling his children about the kingdom of God with a monotonous tone and making of that time the most boring of the day.

Consider for example, how would we speak to our children about “the might of God’s awesome deeds” (v.6)? Do we get excited when we “pour forth the fame of His abundant goodness”  (v.7)? Do we sing aloud in the car, in the kitchen, at church of his righteousness (v.7)?

When we tell them the good news that “the Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love,” when we tell them that “He is good to all, and his mercy is over all He has made” (v.8-9), do we get excited? Or do we repeat those amazing truths as something that is already known by all Christians?

I get so excited (and so very grateful!) when I read that God wants me to “speak of the glory of his kingdom and of His power to my children” (v.10-12). Oh, what an amazing privilege! I don’t want to miss that opportunity! God has appointed us, parents, to make known to our children His mighty deeds (v. 11-12), all of them, those in the Bible, those in our lives, those in Church history, those in the community where He has placed us.

I want to tell my children over and over again that God’s Kingdom is an everlasting Kingdom. That the gift of growing up in the Covenant is a treasure, a privilege, a gift like no other. That throughout all generations His dominion endures. Oh, to tell them a thousand times “how faithful our God is in all his words and how kind He is in all his works! (v.13).

When the trials come I want to encourage them with God’s word, I want to be ready to tell them how “the Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down.” When times of hunger come, I want to encourage them with the Scriptures and remind them that He “gives food in due season,” and that He is extremely generous and opens His hand and delights in satisfying the desires of those who fear him (v.15-16, 19).

What a privilege it is to be able to tell them that “the Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth!”  To share the gospel with the children that God gave me over the family table, in the car, in the porch is a delightful command from God. Isn’t it amazing that God has purposed that from this mouth that many times speaks ungraceful words shall come the most amazing news! Oh,  to be the one that tells them that “the Lord preserves all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.” I want to be ready. I don’t want to miss any of the opportunities that I have been given every day to do so.

“My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD,
and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.” (v.21)

Under His Sun and by Grace,

Becky

 

Homeschooling Conversations -Hundreds of Them-

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Photo credit: Lillian Rachel

Conversations about homeschooling, hundreds of them!- around coffee tables and the same questions over and over again (and I’ve wondered if there is a book out there entitled, “Questions to Ask a Homeschool Mom and her Children” that everyone has already read), and the looks, and the trying to persuade you to quit (for your children’s sake, and your own sanity), and the words: socialization, find-time-for-yourself, tolerance, really? have all been present every time. And of course I learned the correct answer to each of those questions, actually I had two kind of answers for each question: the simple, for the lady waiting on line in the supermarket or for the couple across our table in a business banquet; and the long one, for the moms that were also waiting with me for the gymnastic training or music lessons to be over.

And people asked all these questions and many looked down at us, and kept their eyes on us (even though they pretended not to be spying into our lives) because they were, in a certain way, expecting us to fail in this life experiment. So let me take a minute to answer the real question behind all those hundreds questions: Why did you start doing this?  To have smarter kids? No way. To have well socialized kids? Nope. So that they would not be “contaminated by the world.” Probably you haven’t realized that sin dwells in the heart of a lovely child, of a dad, of a mom; there is absolutely no need to look for it outside your own home. Or maybe you homeschooled your kids to keep them from all heart-breaking stories? No, no.  The reason to  start  -and persevere- on this journey has to be one that is so strong that becomes part of who you are. And what reason is strong enough to make us wake up early every morning, and help us keep pressing on when our heart faints and the tears run, and we know we have failed, and we just don’t know what lies ahead, but this: to bring up our children in the Covenant of God? Yes, yes! This is the real, strong reason behind the many books on the table, and the planners, and the board on the wall, and the mold growing in the cream-cheese in fridge (on purpose, of course). All these rhythms of life have become ours because we wanted -each day- to feed our children’s souls with God’s Word and hundreds of stories and we wanted to teach them to see the stars, and the ocean, and the Greeks, and the Aztecs, and Reubens, and Frida Khalo all through the light of the Scriptures. All through one lens: Truth. We wanted to live the daily, beautiful, God-given life together under God’s grace, under His Covenant.

And we are grateful, so incredibly grateful for the work of the Spirit in each one of our children and for the many ways in which He has faithfully kept them in His Covenant. We rejoice in our loving God and in His ways. We can proclaim with a loud voice: God is indeed faithful! He delights to keep His covenant. He is a God that loves to save children, families, and bless the generations of the righteous.

It’s already summer and this one will be different. We’ll pack the suitcases of two of our children who will be moving  2626.54 miles away from home, and I already miss them but to know that they are walking in the Covenant of Grace is enough to make my heart swell with gladness and rest assured that God will finish what He started in them -in us, in me-

“Wisdom is an ambitious woman. In Proverbs 8 she describes how she’s a catch. The knowledge to get power, wealth, competence and circumspection is hers, yet she delights to teach from her home. When Jesus says, Wisdom is vindicated by her children, his statement assumes that Wisdom is a homeschooling mom.” Dr. Michael Collender

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

In Grace, By Grace, and Under Grace -On Raising Our Children –

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My Man and I were talking in the car -trapped in traffic-, the tears and fears, and thousand questions were all there. It was 12 years ago, in that car, that we decided we were going to start homeschooling our children (three at the time). This was way too crazy for us to do, we personally didn’t  know any family doing this, we had really no idea on how to start or if it would work or not. What about socialization? And paper work? All those questions -and many more- were in our minds -in our hearts-. But it seemed that we didn’t have any other choice if we wanted to provide to our children an education that didn’t divorce our beliefs with what they were being taught at school. Not one Christian school was around for us to even consider that as an option (even now, there are only a few “Christian schools” that are only “Christian” in name -we live in Mexico City, remember?).

I tucked my children in bed that night, Santiago was 8, Annie 6 and Nico 4 (Isabel only existed in the plans of God at that time). And I kissed them with the kind of kiss that is mingled with tears. We loved our children, and we knew we had to be purposely involved in their education if we wanted to bring them up in the Covenant. That night, in my dreams, the Lord reminded me of a prayer I had prayed over and over in my teenage years, “Lord, I want to serve you full time. I want to be used by you to change the world, to fight for Your Kingdom, to be a godly influence in the world, to reach many, to touch lives.” And you know what? I remember how I cried so much every time I prayed this prayer because all the ideas I had about ministries that will change the world were always doors that were impossible to break through,  no matter how hard I tried to bring them down they remained closed. But this night was different. As the Lord reminded me of that prayer of my youth in my dreams, I knew He was graciously answering my prayer in a much unexpected way: I was given the opportunity to change the world, to fight for the Kingdom, to be a godly influence, to reach many, to touch lives by reaching to my children first.

Morning came and new mercies too. We still had a huge list of questions, fears, doubts, but the direction of the Lord for our family was clear. There was not turning back. And many new mornings came and each one brought new mercies with it.

Today classes are officially over at VPSA (one of the most important ways God answered to my fears!), and Annie and Nico (who decided to graduate earlier) finished highschool and will be joining Santiago in College next Fall. I look back now and cannot see anything but grace upon grace. Every day with them has been a day we started and finished in grace, by grace, and under grace. All our doubts and fears, and questions never conquered us, and not because we were too smart, or too disciplined, or too savvy, or had a great support group and many friends, nor even because we had the kind of faith that moves mountains. Oh no, we didn’t! We conquered the doubts and fears, and questions because we knew we were small and our God big. We took everyday five little stones and faced the Giant face to face, knowing in whom we had put our trust.  We obeyed and we trusted in Him because the well of mercy and grace never dried up.

Today I look at them, two young men and a young lady. And I see how they love each other with genuine love, how they long to be always together, how they support one another, how they enjoy being with our little Isabel. I see them well grounded in love and in the faith. I see them too raising their eyes to the horizon, getting hold of their own Sword and ready to fight Giants and Dragons. They are arrows ready to pierce the enemy. They are blessed warriors who long to build families and have their own quivers filled with children and raise them up in the Covenant of Grace.

And I give thanks to my God, because isn’t that the only natural response to a Grace-filled life?

Now I see Isabel, and think of how her journey will be very different. And because God hasn’t changed His orders for us, we’ll remain in this path. Again I have fears and doubts, and questions. Again I have tears in my eyes as I think of only having one child in our little homeschool. Again I think that this is crazy.  And yes, as my friend Ann says, I have “soul-amnesia.”

This time the encouragement comes not in a dream. The Lord used my son, Santiago, to remind me of the goodness and faithfulness of our God. He recounts the blessings, the answer to our prayers. “Mom, remember how you had no idea how you were going to teach us Logic, and Rhetoric, and Physics, and Algebra? Remember, Mom, how God provided for us an online school -a brand new school at the time- that was clearly an answer to your prayers [and how we found that school! An old catalog handed to me by someone who didn’t know anything about Classical Education and was given this catalog by a missionary when he left…]. Mom, remember this…. remember when… Remember, He will lead you now and show you what to do with Isabel. It will be good.”

So I look back and recount His blessings. And it is amazing how looking back and remembering His goodness, His hand leading us every day, gives us hope for the day ahead. I cling to my Rock one more time and I hold my peace.

It has been a long way, and it was lived day by day, minute by minute. Fully there, and fully aware that if the Lord didn’t build these children up, all we were doing was in vain. This has been a journey of grace and will continue to be so. I have messed things up many many times, I am a woman with many flaws. Many times I get behind in Math, and I’m not happy to do all the hands-on projects, and get -pretty ugly-mad- at them. But God, in spite of all my faults and shortcomings has heard my prayers and my cries and has given us grace to start each day, grace to continue, and grace to finish well. We have planted faithfully and have watered the seed of the Word in their hearts every day, all day, but God, and only God can make each seed grow and give fruit. And He has done so faithfully and I know He will continue to do it in this new stage of our family.

Today I remember this prayer of my youth, “Lord, I want to serve you full time. I want to be used by you to change the world, to fight for Your Kingdom, to be a godly influence in the world, to reach many, to touch lives.”  And I see how God has answered it as I look at each one of our children.

Under His Sun and by His grace,

Becky