Pray, Eat, Love: Three Things Needed in Motherhood

Posted on Thursday, May 10, 2012 by Becky Pliego

Today, May 10th, is Mother’s Day in Mexico and I am looking forward to spending the day with my Beloved, my children (all but my oldest who is in his finals week in another country), and my mom and dad. I will try a new steak recipe for our meal with roasted spiced carrots, and bake an apple cake.

I love having special days to celebrate different things, events, or people through the year, and I love that because you are somehow forced to think about them. You stop and can take time to reflect on the role you play in life, or the role those people you celebrate have played in your own life.

I have not read the book Eat, Pray, Love, but I love the title (one day, I guess, I will have to read the book***). But today as I reflect on my role in life as a mom I was thinking how these three words are seriously needed in our everyday life as moms. The order, however, must be slightly different: Pray, Eat, Love.

On Praying:

Prayer comes first. Prayer should be the breathing of a mother. That is the way we start in the labor room, breathing. I was told not to lose the rhythm in my breathing or I would be in great pain. My husband was there. Breathing with me. Prayer in the life of a mother should be like that, it should be the rhythm of our days. Through the pain, through the hard moments, through the uncertainty, through joyous times, through tears: in and out, a rhythm of prayers.

If we stop praying, our labor will not be easy or enjoyable. I remember that clearly. If I would lose the rhythm of my breathing in that labor room, I would, all of a sudden, feel extremely nervous and fearful until I was able to catch it again. Our labor has not ceased, and if we lose the rhythm of our prayer life we will soon live in discontent, anxiety, fear, pain.

Pray all day, at all times. Intercede for your children. Let your breathing be a life of prayer.

On Eating:

I am sure you remember how hungry you get during the time you nurse your children. Everyone tells you how important it is to be well nourished during this time, so you gladly heed their advice. It is clear, if you are not well fed you will feel very tired and weak, and your baby won’t be taking all the nutrients he needs from your milk.

So it is today. My children are not babies anymore, and yet I need to be well fed to be able to give and give and give to them. I must eat daily from the Scriptures. God’s Word must be my daily food, day and night. My mid-day snack, my craving, my joy. If I don’t feed my Spirit with God’s Word I will soon feel very tired and weak. If I stop eating from God’s Word on a daily basis, I will soon start murmuring and complaining. I will soon hear myself asking silly questions and demanding attention as if I were a queen. There is no way around. How can I possible give and give and give if I am not well nourished? If my soul is not well fed? If I never come to feast at the Word of God? How can I possible be a mom, a full time mom if I have not made God’s Word my refuge, my strength, my life?

On Loving:

Aren’t moms supposed to love and love *perfectly*? Isn’t a mother’s love always used as a picture of resignation and unselfishness? Well, I have to admit that my love is not like that. It is not perfect. Love always seems to be an easy thing until it demands something hard from us. But we know we just can’t hide our sins behind our weaknesses. That would be just too easy to do and will make our lives and the life of those around us miserable. If we are to love the children God has entrusted in our hands, we must start working hard in loving them the way God wants us to love. Yes, I said it was not easy. Love, true love, is much more about dying to self than enjoying oneself.

Love is a verb, we have heard that, so how does this verb looks in your life around your children? How do we walk in love at breakfast and when all is a mess and we are late? How do we walk in love when lies come? How do we walk in love when we see in our children what we never thought we would? How do we walk in love when they don’t think the same way we do? How do we live loving?

Happy Mother’s Day to all my friends! Sharing this calling with you is a privilege. Thank you for all you have taught me in the kitchen, or over coffee, on Skype through the distance, on an email or on your blog. You know who you are. I love you!

Becky

P.S. Today my daughter Annie published a photo-shoot in which I feel loved and honored. You can see it here.

©Annie Pliego Photography

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*** DISCLAIMER: Whoa! Really? I never thought I would have to clarify this… but here I go. I do not agree with any kind of Hinduism, neither am I promoting it. I just used these three words as a “prompt” to my blog entry today. Please, please, see things the way they are. If I ever read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book is not because I am planning on including Hindu practices in my life. not.at.all. If I ever read it, is because many dear friends of mine who doesn’t know the Truth have read it and I would love to know what is that they found so fascinating about it.I want to know what is going through their hearts and minds.
Now I hope you won’t accuse me of not reading only Christian literature, because if that is the case, then I am guilty.

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On Titus 2: 1-5 Living the Gospel in Community -part 1-

Posted on Tuesday, March 20, 2012 by Becky Pliego

“But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” Titus 2: 1-5 ESV

We live what we believe in our community. We just can’t live a godly life in isolation; we live and move among people: believers and non believers as well. We have heard so many times that “our relationship with God is personal,” and while this is true in an extent, it has been carried too far as to deny our responsibility on how we live among the people around us, especially our brothers and sisters in the Lord.

In these verses Paul urges Titus, a young man, to teach in the church. But there are some guidelines he must follow; first of all, he is to teach in accord with sound doctrine. Bryan Chapell explains in a few words what sound doctrine is:

“The words ‘sound doctrine’ are used by Paul to refer to the teachings passed on approved by Christ’s apostles, teachings meant to guard and guide the church.”

And John MacArthur says,

“[T]he theme throughout not only Titus but 1 and 2 Timothy is the teaching of sound doctrine and the call for consequent sound living, healthy doctrine which produces healthy living. That’s crucial.

Now this is all set against the backdrop of unsound doctrine which produces unsound living, or unhealthy doctrine which produces unhealthy Christianity.”

“So holy living is proper. Holy living is suitable. Holy living is fitting. Holy living is inseparable from sound doctrine. That’s the point.”

I firmly believe that the importance of having sound doctrine is not necessarily to crush someone else’s arguments, win debates, point out those in error and so on. The most important reason for us to pursue sound doctrine is that we may live accordingly to it. That we may live holy lives in a day to day basis. Down-to-earth-holiness, if so to say.

Instructions for older men are found on verse 2 and I do not intend to explain these, because I would never like to teach “older men” their place in the Church. However, I would like to point you to one sermon that may help you understand more about this verse: God’s Plan for Older Men and Women by John MacArthur

Now we come to the instructions for older women -including myself-. These verses (3-5) are worth studying carefully as they are very practical and are a perfect guide that shows us how our sound doctrine must be manifested in our way of living. It is also a good way to help us choose our friends; we want to be close friends with women who display these characteristics.

1. Reverent in behavior: A mature woman should always seek to honor God and demonstrate this reverence in all her conduct. Our being close to God in prayer and through the Word, should be evident in all our manner of living.

2. Not slanders: No gossiping, not at all. MacArthur says,

“You know what the word is for malicious gossips? It’s the Greek word diabolos, 34 times in the New Testament it appears as a name for Satan. Nothing is more Satanlike than slander. And whereas men tend to sin and violently react physically, men prove to be rough or violent in their action, women have a tendency to be rough or violent in their words. Satan is a malicious slanderer, slandering night and day. Don’t be Satanlike.”

3. Not slaves to much wine: Not slaves to much wine or to anything that may not be reverent and godly. We must not lack self-control. Any behavior that is out of control will certainly “damage the credibility of the life-changing power of the gospel” in Chapell’s words.

4. They are to teach what is good: And what is good? Those teachings that are in accord with sound doctrine. (v.1) Ladies, let’s take the big books and study, Let us go deeper in the Word taking the time to study it in-depth. Let us not be afraid to be Theologians, and go beyond our most-loved passages.

5. They are to train the young woman to…

* Love their husbands and children: Bryan Chapell hits the nail on a very important issue concerning young men teaching, counseling or giving advice to young women:

“Paul does not tell Titus to teach the younger women. This non-instruction probably reflects Paul’s concern that a young woman perceive her husband (or father-my inclusion) as the male who is her primary spiritual instructor (cf. 1 Corinthians 14:35). Paul also apparently desires to establish a pattern of instruction in the church that does not lead to sexual temptation.”

Older women are called to train younger women in the matters of family -marriage and child-rearing- What an enormous privilege is this! We are not called to preach from the pulpit on a Sunday’s sermon; we are called to train younger women how to live a godly, pious life that accords with sound doctrine in a day to day basis. What woman wants a pulpit to preach if she has a beautiful family to minister, children to teach, and young women around her to train?

* To be self-controlled: If we are called as older women to teach self-control, let us first of all, exercise it in our own lives.

* Pure: It is true that many women struggle with pornography, but many more struggle with a false notion of what a romantic marriage should look alike. They are addicted to a romanticism that only happens in Hollywood. They are not pure, and in their hearts are not being faithful to their husbands, but are always in discontent, always wishing for a more “romantic” relationship. This is not pure, and does not accords to godliness.

* Working at home, kind: These three go hand in hand. And it is important to note that real issue here is not if a wife can work or not outside her home. The heart of the matter here is this: Is her home her priority? If she stays at home what is her attitude? Kind or resentful?

Chapell has some good words here,

“Any woman who makes career status or financial advantage a higher priority in her life than the welfare of her marriage, children, or home transgress Scripture as well as the signals of a heart sensitive to God’s Spirit. Perhaps this is the reason Paul urges that young women not only be taught to be productive at home but also to be “kind.” A sensitive heart will not get so caught up in the routines of homemaking, that compassion for a husband’s or child’s needs get lost, nor will such a heart be dissuaded by the callousness of the secular world regarding the value of the homemaking routines.”

* Submissive to their own husbands: Because this is such an in-depth topic, I would like to poin tou to Nancy Wilson, a woman who has written several books on marriage and child-rearing, as well as some great articles on submission, for example this one: Stick to your Duties, in which she answers questions such as: “[W]hat about the women who are married to men who are not interested in leading, who have neither drive nor direction? What can a woman in a marriage like that do?” (other articles are: Submission Requires Courage, and First Duties)

All these lineaments are there so that the word of God may not be reviled. I love the way Chapell concludes hos commentary on these verses,

“The wonderful message implicit here is that what happens in the home as a result of a woman’s care is a powerful tool for the progress of the gospel.”

Let us not be deceived, sisters. Our duties at home have an eternal effect; let us be diligent in doing what we have been commanded to do. Our joys will be multiplied!

Becky

A Family Prayer for the Lord’s Day Morning

Posted on Sunday, March 18, 2012 by Becky Pliego

Matthew Henry wrote a family prayer for the Lord’s Day Morning a beautiful and rich prayer that will sure bless your heart today. O what a blessing it is to prepare our hearts in prayer before we go come to the Lord’s house to worship Him among the saints!

Moms, let us wake up earlier, with a happy heart and set, with our readiness, a peaceful tune in our home before we come Church. Let no bitterness or resentment, or selfishness take hold of us. Let us serve gladly our Lord this day by serving those we love the most.

@Katie Lloyd Photography

Because this is a lengthy prayer, I am only sharing here some excerpts* from it:

Most gracious God, and our Father in our Lord Jesus Christ; it is good for us to draw near to Thee; the nearer the better; and it will be best of all, when come to be nearest of all in the kingdom of glory.

We bless Thee for the return of the morning light, and that thou causest the day-spring to know its place and time. O let the day-spring from on high visit our dark souls, and the Sun of Righteousness arise with healing under his wings.

We bless thee that the light we see is the Lord’s: That this is the day which the Lord hath made, hath made for man, hath made for himself, we will rejoice and be glad in it. That thou hast revealed unto us thy holy sabbaths, and that we were betimes taught to put a difference between this day and other days, and that we live in a land in all parts of which God is publicly and solemnly worshiped on this day.

Now we bid this sabbath welcome: Hosanna to the Son of David, blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord, hosanna in the highest. O that we may be in the Spirit on this Lord’s Day; that this may be the sabbath of the Lord in our dwelling; in our hearts, a sabbath of rest from sin, and a sabbath of rest in God. Enable us, we pray thee, so to sanctify this sabbath, as that it may be sanctified to us and be a means of our sanctification; that by resting today from our worldly employments, our hearts may be more and more taken off from present things and prepared to leave them; and that by our employing our time today in the worship of God, we may be led into a more experimental acquaintance with the work of heaven, and be made more meet for that blessed world.

We confess we are utterly unworthy of the honour and unable for the work of communion with thee, but we come to thee in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, who is worthy, and depend upon the assistance of thy blessed Spirit to work all our works in us, and so ordain peace for us.

O Lord, we bless thee for thy holy word, which is a light to our feet and a lamp to our paths, and which was written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope; that the scriptures are preserved pure and entire to us, and that we have them in a language that we understand. We beg that we may not receive the grace of God herein in vain. We bless thee that our eyes see the joyful light, and our ears hear the joyful sound of a Redeemer and a Saviour, and of redemption and salvation by him; that life and immortality are brought to light by the gospel. Glory be to God in the highest, for in and through Jesus Christ there is on earth peace and good-will towards men.

O that our hearts may be filled this day with pleasing thoughts of Christ and his love to us, that great love wherewith he loved us. O the admirable dimensions of that love; the height, the depth, and length, and breadth of the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge! Let this love constrain us to love him and to live to him, who died for us and rose again. O that it may be a pleasure and mighty satisfaction to us to think that while we are here praying at the footstool of the throne of grace, our blessed Saviour is sitting at the right hand of the throne of glory, interceding for us. We earnestly beg that through him we may find favour with thee our God, and may be taken into covenant and communion with thee.

We humbly pray thee, for his sake, forgive all our sins, known and unknown, in thought, word, and deed: Through him let us be acquitted of guilt and accepted as righteous in thy sight; let us not come into condemnation, as we have deserved; let our iniquity be taken away and our sin covered; and let us be clothed with the spotless robe of Christ’s righteousness, that the shame of our nakedness may not appear. O let there be no cloud of guilt to interpose between us and our God this day, and to intercept our comfortable communion with him; and let our lusts be mortified and subdued, that our corruptions may not be as a clog to us, to hinder the ascent of our souls heavenwards.

Let thy presence be in all assemblies of good Christians this day. Grace be with all them that love the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity; let grace be upon them all. In the chariot of the everlasting gospel, let the great Redeemer ride forth triumphantly, conquering and to conquer, and let every thought be brought into obedience to him. Let many be brought to believe the report of the gospel, and to many let the arm of the Lord be revealed. Let sinners be converted unto thee, and thy saints edified and built up in faith, holiness, and comfort, unto salvation. Complete the number of thine elect, and hasten thy kingdom.

Now the Lord of peace himself give us peace always by all means. The God of hope fill us with joy and peace in believing, for Christ Jesus’ sake, our blessed Saviour and Redeemer, who hath taught us to pray, Our Father which art in heaven, etc.

Grace upon Grace,

Becky

*You can read Matthew Henry’s: A family Prayer for the Lord’s Day Morning in full here

Blogging when Your Children are Young Adults

Posted on Friday, March 16, 2012 by Becky Pliego

@Shiloh Photography

It has been kind of quiet in this blog lately, and the main reason for that is because being watchful demands time; and one of the things that I have had to set aside for a bit in order to be purposely watchful, is this blog -and at times reading yours-.

The second important reason is that 3 of our four children are young adults (I rather use this term than “teenagers”). When one is mothering young ones, one can easily share stories of the little people at home, their funny sayings and hilarious moments. A mom can easily share about how she is learning to take time to read the Word while cleaning the house and changing diapers; but when our children grow things change, and must definitely change. It would be the absolutely unwise for me to share how we are dealing with certain things going on in our lives here -or even at a coffee table- I cannot share with you the thoughts and struggles of my children to try to encourage you “in the Lord.” God forbid!

Most of the learning and growing in my life at this moment happens around being a mom to three wonderful young adults. Each one of them living his/her own story. Yes, it is their story, not mine and I love to see how God is dealing with each one of them. At this point in life, I am learning that all the things my husband and I have taught them are there to stay; and that our children are now in a stage in which we can not really add more to that building process, but can only help them see clearly through the Light of the Scripture. Of course we must still give them advice and encourage them in the Lord, don’t take me wrong, they are still our responsibility, but our role as parents is changing and we must see that and act accordingly while at the same time keep on praying that they will make the best decisions.

If prayer has always been a vital part in the parenting process, when you come to this stage in life know that prayer is almost the only way to parent effectively. Prayer is the only resource that never ends, that has no limits, that reaches to our Father’ heart. When our children become young adults, it is not about “you and them“, but about “he and God” and “she and God.”

There are those times where you feel like you have a thousand good words to say, but the Spirit urges you not to open your mouth, it is then when words find their way in the prayer closet, in the kitchen, in the quiet. Murmuring prayers as the day goes by while hugging and kissing your children, and showing yourself available for a good conversation at night, are the ways we grow together in the Lord and in our relationship with them.

In this process, as I see my children growing into full maturity, I bow my head in gratitude for each one of them. I am so grateful to my God because He has granted me life to see them grow in Him. I am grateful because of our many conversations; because love is always present. I am grateful because being their mom is one of the most amazing things that has happened to me. I am grateful because in spite of all my faults and shortcomings, their desire is to live godly lives, and have a family of their own that honors God.

May God grant us to live each stage of our lives with wisdom,

Becky

Grateful for Changes to an Unchangeable God

Posted on Monday, January 23, 2012 by Becky Pliego

“Holy Spirit, influence my heart, and tune my tongue, that I may gratefully give thanks unto the Lord, praising him not only with my lips — but with life. O for grace from God, that I may daily give thanks to God, and speak of his goodness, and celebrate his mercy, in every possible way!” James Smith (1858)

1475. I am filled with gratitude to my Unchangeable God because in the different seasons of our lives, through all the daily changes that happen as our children grow and as we become, in a sense, only spectators of what the Lord is doing in their lives, we can trust that His plans for them are unchanging.

1476. I am grateful for those songs that you can sing all day long, over and over again (and children that just smile at you… and by now also know the words for the songs by heart)

1477. Surprises.

1478. Friends over for lunch.

1479. Healthy parents.

1480. Sunlight coming through my window as I read my Bible.

1481. The expectation of doing this.

1482. The best comfort food ever (and always satisfying).

1483. These words spoken by one of my dearest friends, “You become afraid of the future, only when you start trying to look beyond today” So true. Didn’t Jesus said it too: “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.“?

1484. A mid-term exam week over.

1485. Long conversations and longer hugs.

1486. Our family devotional book: We Shall See God

1487. That He hears me and hides me under His wings.

1488. My life, how He has changed me and how He has given me the desire to “daily give thanks, and speak of his goodness, and celebrate his mercy, in every possible way!”

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

How to Start Your Mornings, and Two New Recipes Added to Our Repertoire

Posted on Thursday, November 17, 2011 by Becky Pliego

Mornings can be beautiful or awful, and we moms have the “power” to make them either. What about instead of “Hurry up!” our first words to our children are:

“This is the day that the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118: 24

These are the first words I love my children to hear every morning; and the words I speak to myself every morning as I wake up, and believe it or not, they can help you open your eyes without grumbling!

Isaac Watts wrote a beautiful hymn based on this Psalm, the first stanza says,

This is the day the Lord hath made;
He calls the hours his own;
Let heav’n rejoice, let earth be glad,
And praise surround the throne.

Another way we can make mornings beautiful is by cooking a yummy breakfast. This week we tried one new breakfast recipe from my Pinterest board, “Good Morning, Breakfast is Ready”: Blueberry Crumb Cake

The Pioneer Woman

Yes, it was as delicious as it looks.

My girls also wanted to try a new recipe that some suggest is perfect for breakfast, but my girls thought it was perfect for dinner. (I guess some of our American friends are influencing us with their “breakfast for dinner habits”) This recipe comes from my board, “Sweets for Sweets Moments”: Red Velvet Crepês filled with a Mascarpone Cream Filling. My oldest girl decided to reduce the sugar, and I loved the results. They are very, very, very yummy.