Category Archives: Framing our Lives

Spinning in the Fog

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Annie Pliego Photography

It is a foggy day, just the way days have been lately.  The sun-rays come and go through the clouds, but most of the time there is fog.

She puts on her pretty dress, the one that swirls beautifully when she spins around.

Over and over again, she dances.

She spins with wide open arms in the fog. 

She stops. 

All is moving inside of her, outside her, all is unstable. At least that is the way it seems to be. 

And I look from the window, standing where the sun rays appear and disappear behind the clouds, the fog. All is moving, all is swirling inside my head, my heart. Thoughts. This, that. The next. The book, the girl, the man.

The fog won’t rise.

The girl is spinning again.

What matters, what doesn’t? What fights should I fight and which ones are not for me? All is swirling. This, that. Poetry. Calvin. Luther. Chesterton. Analogies. Fog. Love. Unity. Division.

She stops. 

Her legs are firm in the ground.

Her arms still opened wide. 

I stop. I press my Bible to my chest. Hard. I feel a hard lump in my throat. Words are hidden in the fog.

A sun ray shines on her and she starts spinning again.

All these terms, these theological questions. This, that. The passion for one or the other. The songs we sing. The books we read. The words we write. The conversations we have. The lives we live in the open. In the secret.  They all matter. They do. Even when the fog won’t rise and all is moving inside us. It matters. It does matter. I am what I believe.

She spins.

It matters what I believe.

It determines how I will respond…

In the days of darkness.

In the days of joy.

In the days of trouble.

In the days of health.

In the days of sickness.

In the days of trials.

In the days of peace.

She still spinning.

All the days I will live

Under the sun,

Under the fog.

Today, tomorrow,

The time in between.

They all matter.

It does matter!

She stops. She grabs her dress as if by holding unto it she won’t fall. 

I am still holding my Bible. Tight. I do not want to fall.

The sun rays are now coming back through the glass, this time shining on me. All is moving inside of me and tears have found a way to escape through my eyes. I have tried to hold them back but they won’t stay in.

She is tired of spinning. Dizziness has overcome her.

I look at my Bible. The Word of God. It has never been moved. It will always remain. Firm. It never changes. Every word in it has been spoken by the Author of Life. The Alpha, The Omega, the Great I Am. I press it hard to my chest.

O how I love the Word that sustains my life in the midst of all the fog!

Oh how I love the Word of God!

He spoke and all was created.

He spoke and darkness was removed.

He spoke and the Devil did not overcome.

He spoke my name and I lived.

She is holding her dress and playing with it. 

She is content in the fog, and dizzy no more.

I try to smile, to remember what I have learned. How to be content. What I believe. Who am I. I know what it takes not to faint. It is not what I can defend with logic and arguments that sustains me when I am dizzy. No!

It is not that.

It is deeper than that.

It goes beyond that.

It is not what I believe in my head,

but in my heart that keeps me going,

and keeps me still.

It is His love burning in me.

How can I explain with logic and rhetoric, in English or Spanish, this, that, éso, aquéllo?  It is His love that captivates my heart, that sustains my life. It His light shinning through the fog, through tears, and the uncertainties of life that holds my life tight.

To be loved by the Great I Am.

To be known by name.

To be able to respond to that amazing love.

The Spirit  within me,

My cry: Abba Father!

The song He has put in my heart.

That He rejoices over me with singing.

All that undeserved grace.

All that has been forgiven.

How can you possible explain this, that?

And yet that is what sustains me.

That is what strengthens me when all seems to be spinning around.

I come out and hold her hands.

We smile and spin together.


And then we stop.


All is moving inside of us, outside of us, all is unstable. 

At least that is the way it seems to be.

 

Becky

Continue and Be Watchful.

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©Katie Lloyd Photography

A new year is at hand and the reminder that our lives happen in cycles, in seasons is at the door. I take a time to consider how I have lived this past year, a year purposely “lived in the Sacred.” A year of laughs and many tears; a year of sharing so much with my family, a year of big changes, of great gains but also with many hard providences. Living in the Sacred, open before the face of God, knowing that He is Holy and Sovereign, has deeply changed me.

But I am not where I should be… I am fragile; so many times this past year I woke up feeling fragile, so vulnerable to my own sin. So blind.

I have quietly prayed, and have considered this verse over and over:

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. Col.4:2

Holding fast to what I have attained, continuing in the progresses that I have made, persevering to the end; Oh to finsh the race by God’s grace is something that I want to do. And I pray I will with God’s help. This coming year, 2012, will be a year, God willing, of continuity and watchfulness. Prayer and thanksgiving will be my bread.

James Smith said it well,

“Pray without ceasing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:17

How important is a spirit of prayer! It is . . .
the proof of regeneration,
the manifestation of grace in our hearts, and
the evidence our title to mansions in the skies!

Prayer is . . .
the breath of the renewed soul,
the beating of the sanctified heart,
the effect of the life of God within us.

O that I had prayed more!

Prayer should become a habit with us — then everything would furnish us with matter for prayer. Prayer should mingle with our pleasures and our pains, with our labor and our rest. O for more prayer!

We should never do — what we cannot pray God to bless.

We should never go — where we cannot ask God to go with us.

If we would hold fast our profession,
if we would adorn the gospel,
if we would honor Jesus,
if we would enjoy our mercies,
if we would get good by our trials,
if we would see all things working together for good,
if we would conquer Satan,
if we would overcome the world,
if we would crucify the flesh with its affections and lusts
— we must pray!

Prayer, if it is believing prayer . . .
opens Heaven to us,
unveils the glorious face of God, and
brings down foretastes of the joys of paradise,
makes us a match for all our foes,
enables us patiently to carry every cross, and with perseverance to climb and pass over the loftiest hills we meet with on our heaven-bound pilgrimage!

Those who pray, will, by deriving strength from Heaven, by drawing down wisdom from above — withstand every storm, and shout God’s praises at last.

If I want to be watchful, I must continue to live in prayer, like the Children of Light are called to live; there is simply no other way to do this.

“But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief. For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober.” I Thessalonians 5:4-6

Puritan Thomas Brooks said:

The best way to be safe and secure from all Satan’s assaults is, with Nehemiah and the Jews, to watch and pray, and pray and watch. By this means they became too hard for their enemies, and the work of the Lord did prosper sweetly in their hands…

Our whole life is beset with temptations. Satan watches all opportunities to break our peace, to wound our consciences, to lessen our comforts, to impair our graces, to slur our evidences, and to dampen our assurances. Oh! what need then have we to be always upon our watch-tower, lest we be surprised by this subtle serpent. Watchfulness includes a waking, a rousing up of the soul. It is a continual, careful observing of our hearts and ways, in all the turnings of our lives—that we still keep close to God and his Word.

Watchfulness is the heart busied and employed with diligent observation of what comes from within us, and of what comes from without us and into us.

May God give us grace to keep pressing on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

May our soul’s strength be renewed as we continue to watch and pray.

Under His sun and by His grace,

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Lessons Learned in the Quiet

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The morning has come, and with it the first frost on our yard. The pretty, gay green will soon perish. Seasons come and go,  and the only thing than can sustain us through all these inevitable changes is the Word of God.

Shiloh Photography @ Used with permission

I am still meditating on Psalm 4, the Psalm I prayed this past Lord’s Day, but specially on verses 3-5:

“But know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself;
the LORD hears when I call to him.

Be angry, and do not sin;
ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent.
Selah

Offer right sacrifices,
and put your trust in the LORD.”

It seems to me that sometimes, the hardest lessons to learn are the ones God teaches us when we are lying on our beds at night, pondering in our hearts in silence; when the Spirit speaks to us by string our consciences, and bringing back to our hearts His Word that pierces deep into our soul.

Becky

>Out of the Land of Hurry – a Tale for Moms-

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Time runs incessantly by like a waterfall, violently. Clock and Watch seem to have the power over the days of men, they are such cruel rulers. The Sun and the Moon are no longer the Masters of the biological clock of the people in the Land of Hurry. Tic Toc; Tic Toc is the sound that can be heard all over the land, no time for listening to the birds’ song or watching squirrels, or kissing longer, or hugging tighter. Moms run from here and there, tirelessly, dragging feet and children. Dads go and go and go….

– But wait!

– Wait? Who dares to say THAT word in this Land of Hurry?

– It is me,  Quiet-Slow-Mom

– Are you talking to me? Sorry… I don’t have time to stay, I have to go. So many things in my list. I just can’t wait!

– Wait, please. Please, listen to me…

For some strange reason  Rushing-Busy-Mom always in a hurry stopped. For the first time in months she stopped and even felt her heart pumping blood through her body, and without even thinking stared for a moment at a few small beautiful flowers beside the road, and felt her little daughter’s hand holding hers.

Quiet-Slow-Mom said,

-I used to walk like you, enslaved by the cruel Clock and like you, I loved to be running all day. It made me feel… so… productive. Yes, I felt more important if I could handle more things than I wanted to do. I murmured a tiny prayer whenever I had time and sometimes  I read a Bible verse that had been on my fridge for years. Yes, I had the same endless excuses, the little ones, the laundry, the money, the husband, the Bible study, the bills, the gym, the so longed for “Time-For-Me”, who, by the way, is the most shrewd deceiver around Moms.  But one day I stopped… well actually , He made stop…

–He? I barely remember any of His Words… It has been so long…I hadn’t have time.

– Yes, He made me stop; the Owner of my Days; the One who fixed the Sun and Moon in place to give us a day to work and a night to rest. He spoke clearly to me, I remember well. It was one day when he opened my ears to hear my voice, my dialog. I was scared. The two words that my children were listening from me  all day long were terrifying: Hurry Up! 

Rushing-Busy-Mom had a lump on her throat and a tear made of minuscules particles of wasted time, rolled down from her cheek. 

Quiet-Slow-Mom kept on saying,

– When I realized how many times I had spoken those words I broke into pieces. I knew in that moment that those words I kept saying all day, all days were exactly the opposite of what my heart longed for… I did not want to rush the hours, I did not want to make the time pass by so quickly, I did not want to hurry the moments… O Beautiful Moments that were disappearing without no one noticing them, and I just let them go by while Clock and Watch observed, and they laughed at me.

Rushing-Busy-Mom sat on the grass, and held her baby girl in her arms who was now sleeping. She took her tiny hands and took a moment to see how much her hands had grown and how beautiful her hair was.  The rays of the Sun were particularly beautiful that day… or so they seemed. She looked at Quiet-Slow-Mom and whispered to her…

– Do you think it is possible, really possible, to stop living under the cruel, rude, and powerful dominion of Clock and Watch? Is there a way out of the Land of Hurry?


– Yes, there is a way out of the Land of Hurry. It is that tiny door over there; it is just like the Door to Paradise which is narrow; it is a door through which you must enter on your knees, face down, with a contrite spirit… slowly, very slowly. You must leave behind all that doesn’t matter and walk through it humbly. When you hear the Owner of Time, the One who holds the days of mankind in the palm of His hand calling you, do not hesitate and walk through it. He will teach  you to number your days; He will teach you to live wisely in the Land. He will help you to kiss longer and hug tighter, and slow down to play and read a book. He will renew your strength every day with the power of His Word; when You come to meet Him early in the mornings you will find out how to live in this frame of time, serving Him and not Clock or Watch. You will find rest under His shadow and peace under His wings. You will  soon find yourself loving more, smiling more, baking more, making love more… It is when we stop and deliberately seek Him that Time stops ruling our days and we start living, fully living under His sun and by His grace…

Where To Start

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We have been unpacking after a month of being away; we unpacked clothes, gifts, books, Belgian chocolates, art reproductions, and memories.

Now we must jump into what is next, books and notebooks, and schedules and routine. I love all these, I love to have them because they frame my life. They help me love the ordinary and know that in those simple days is where I am called to live my Christianity. I love routine and schedules because they help me grow into a disciplined woman, and the Lord has been gracious to me, He has helped me to find His joy in my daily life.

I have been meditating about Proverbs 23: 12 as I have been preparing my heart for a new school year.

“Apply your heart to instruction
 and your ear to words of knowledge.”

Apply your heart to instruction…

This is a good place to start, I must apply my heart to instruction.

Homeschooling is not easy, it requires hard work, and applying my heart to instruction must be  part of such work.

Think of ways to apply your heart to instruction:

* Wake up earlier.
* Plan your lessons and review them.
* Read good books.
* Learn along  with your children.
* Spend less time in those things that you know are not worthy of your time.
* Set limits.
* Once you set up your school year do not go pondering over the “newest” curriculum.
* Teach with love.
* Teach with joy.
* Teach with enthusiasm.

And obviously this list is just a starting point; pray and search your heart, ask the Lord and your husband and even to your children how can you improve your teaching ministry at home.

Apply… your ears to words of knowledge…

As calendar squares start to be filled up with activities and due dates, remember to apply your ears to words of knowledge.  The Word of God is the first place we should come to drink and find knowledge and wisdom; then we should come to our husband, and then we may find a friend, a godly friend. But beware of friends who complain at all times and are always tired and never happy. Those friends that quench your spirit. Find friends that speak words of knowledge, and once you find them listen to them (and don’t let them the go!). Be encouraged by them. Let them water your soul when you feel tired and overwhelmed.

His grace is sufficient.

Grace for Today... a beautiful reminder at Theology for Girls.

Opening Your Home and Heart

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The way the Lord plans all things is beautiful. He is sovereign and we can see how He, as if working in a magnificent play, arranges all things for His glory and the good of our souls.

My sister sent me an email few months ago saying that a friend of her from the Netherlands was coming to Mexico, she asked me to host her friend for a night or two. What a great privilege for me it was to be able to host my sister’s friend; we agreed and started to email back and forth. To make this story short in a moment I was also emailing back and forth with the tour guide of the group (15 Reformed Christian backpackers), they wanted to join us for our Church service on Sunday and were looking for a hotel near to our home…

We had to have a “meeting”, so we sat at the Family Table one night and talked about the possibility of hosting them all. “They are backpackers, so we need not to worry about beds, they have their sleeping bags, and we have enough floor space for all of them”, we reasoned, and by opening our home to them we would be able to bless them. We all voted yes.

They came in Saturday night driving one big van and one car; it was night and it was raining, but  our home was warm, and the tables were set. Pasta night was awaiting.

They stayed with us until Tuesday morning; we thought we were going to bless them with a place to sleep, yet they blessed us greatly.

Every morning and evening we read the Scripture; English was the language where we met in every conversation; at nights we sang hymns and Psalms in Dutch, Spanish and English. Our home was filled with the sound of a beautiful choir, and every room with glorious praises.
 
We thought we were opening our home to them, but really, can you open your home without opening your heart?

We felt sad as they left, but we know that every Lord’s Day we will be singing to our God who has brought people from every tribe and nation to worship Him, until the day we will see Him face to face and again feast at the Family Table with Him.

May you open your home and heart to many this season… you will find blessings you never expected, and your heart will overflow with joy.

Today I am playing with my true photographer friends Kelly and Claire. I could not choose only one picture and I know these are not the best pics at all (it is hard to be the hostess of so many and still try to take good pics.) but they surely tell a lot about how our home in Mexico looked this past weekend.