Category Archives: Being a Mom

Love and Respect Your Calling

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Because this is too important not to read….

“Love and respect are both very transformative. A loved woman becomes more and more lovely, and respected men become more and more respectable. We all know this at a foundational level. It is true all over the world that when someone bestows love on something or someone, change is visible. I am not talking simply of emotions here – I mean the action of loving, or the action of respecting. Emotions follow actions, and it is one of the great myths of our time that love is an uncontrollable force, coming and going in ways beyond human control.”  Read the rest over at Femina today.

Becky

>An Open Letter to my Friend Diana -and to all who are considering homeschooling-

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My Dearest Diana,

I wish we could have time to sit and talk for hours over a cup of tea, about our homeschooling experiences. But, since a vast ocean separates us, you’ll have to drink a cup of tea at 5:00 o’clock whilst I drink a cup of strong coffee in the morning.

You mentioned to me in a comment yesterday, when I wrote about how we homeschool not because we are stronger, that you would love to hear more about our experiences of home-schooling;  so I thought I would share some of our journey here, in the form of an open letter, because maybe, just maybe, there is someone else out there, who would like to hear about it too.

Yesterday I said that,  “I have learned some grace, and today I don’t dare to speak against those who send their children to schools (either Christians or not), because as I see my children walking in the ways of the Lord I can not say that it is because “we have done all things right” that they are godly. No, we know that it is because it has pleased God to give our children a heart for Him. It is grace, all grace.” So, why in the world did we choose to homeschool our children? Why I love to encourage my friends to do it? 

The answer is this: The reward of doing it is too great to let it go.

I will never trade all the wonderful moments that my children and I have lived together, all the moments reading on the couch, all the projects, and paintings; all the discoveries, the authors we have met together. The laughter, their “I did it!” look. A hug and a kiss when the multiplication tables are not easy to memorize, the words of forgiveness spoken, the tears and kisses. All growing side by side.

Our oldest son is leaving for college this summer, you know that, and as you can imagine my heart is heavy with the thought of it; however I just look behind and smile at all the memories we have built together; I am so happy and grateful that I have been there for him, with him, close to him all these past years. I have not wasted the minutes with him. What we have now is a strong relationship, and I give thanks to my God for it.

My dear Diana, we have chosen this journey, because we want to be there, not only to create beautiful memories, but because we want to teach them what a public school can’t, and that it is that God, His Word, reigns supremely over all subjects. I remember the time when Isabel and I were reading the Iliad, and read the moment when Helen leaves her husband; she was so surprised; and even though she is tender in age, we talked about how dreadful sin can be. I perfectly remembered whispering thanks to God. In a public school, she might have read the same story, even from a better story teller that me, but to the many questions she had,  I had the Word of God ready to bring her to God’s worldview.

Private Christian Schools (real Christian schools and not only nominal) are a great option too for many families who can’t homeschool. We have decided, as you may recall, to enroll our oldest children  in an Online School, which has proved to be a huge blessing to us. We don’t have in our country the option of co-ops, so for us this has been the perfect option.  The teachers are godly and the academics are rigorous, two things that we value. And of course, we also value the wonderful friendships that the Lord has brought to our lives through it; from our little one to my husband, we all love our friends in that wonderful community.

Now, homeschooling is not a “piece of cake” it involves hard work and lots of prayer. When people ask me what is the hardest thing about homeschooling; I always say: “Dealing with my flesh everyday” And it is true! If I lose my temper, it is not because they are not giving me the correct answer, it is simply because I am not exercising patience. So, yes, this journey has helped me grow in the Word, and has helped me see many areas of my life that need to be changed, many sins that need to be mortified. But at the same time, it has helped me see, as I wrote yesterday, that when I am weak He is always strong.

So, Diana, this is why I love homeschooling, and the reason why I would do it over and over again. I like this saying that I have, “Deciding to start homeschooling is tough, but thinking about quitting is impossible.” And maybe, after all this,  you are asking, “Becky, what does your children say?” Well, they say they want to do it with their own children as well. That, my friend, is a great reward, don’t you think?

My dear friend, it is my prayer that you and your husband will be led to the best option for your family; one that will bring Him glory.

Love you dearly,

Becky

>We Homeschool Not Because We are Stronger

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Challies has been talking about homeschooling, and it is always interesting for me, living in a country where homeschooling (Mexico) is practically non existent, to see from “afar” all the debates and divisions that this subject brings.

We are a passionate homeschooling family, and in the first years of our homeschooling journey I thought every Christian should homeschool their children, and I was hard on those who didn’t; thank God I have learned some grace, today I don’t dare to speak against those who send their children to schools (either Christians or not), because as I see my children walking in the ways of the Lord I can not say that it is because “we have done all things right” that they are godly. No, we know that it is because it has pleased God to give our children a heart for Him. It is grace, all grace. Homeschooling is not the way to God; nor the way to be saved, nor the way to secure that our children will grow in grace. Salvation belongs to the Lord, not to the homeschooling families.

We homeschool our children not because we are stronger; maybe it is because we are weaker. Maybe it is because we want to *do* something to ensure that our kids will walk upright. It is a great danger, if we think that because we are a homeschooling family, we will in turn, see godly results in our children. God forbid! It is not by what we do or not do, it is because it pleases Him to bring our children to Him.

I am not stronger because I am a homeschool mom. In fact, these past 10 years, I have seen in my own life how weak I am. How much I weary and wander. Teaching our children to walk in the ways of the Lord is a gigantic task, one not suitable for those who claim to be strong, but for those who are weak and dare to say “Lord, this seems impossible, how can I do this? Come, help me! I depend on you.” 

I remember how our story began; our oldest (who is going to College this fall) was 8 years old, he was attending a private school (not Christian) and was a happy boy with many friends, and very good grades. But we were not happy with the things they were teaching him; so that summer my Beloved and I talked about homeschooling, we prayed, and cried. We did not know anything about homeschooling. There were no homeschool book fairs, or support groups or co-ops. We were two weak people asking God to help us raise our kids in His Word.

One night as I was crying and praying, the Lord reminded me of a passionate prayer of my youth: “Lord, use my life. I want to serve you full time. I want to change lives” I knew this was the answer to that prayer. So this weak couple, with trembling knees, began a journey that has become the most rewarding one; the most delightful one; the journey in which over and over again we have seen how when we are weak He is strong.

Because of His amazing grace,

Becky

>Giving Grace to Difficult Children

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Annie Pliego Photography

This Thursday of Borrowed words I want to share with you a quote from a book I am now reading, Give Them Grace; Dazzling Your Kids With the Love of Jesus by Fitzpatrick and Thompson. I have read many books on parenting, but I think this is the first time I encounter an encouragement like this for parents whose children are not walking in the ways of the Lord, whose children are “difficult children”. (As soon as I finish reading this book I will share with you my review). 

“We think that compliant children will best teach us about his grace and the gospel, and they can. Compliant, believing children are frequently reflections of his great kindness. But the Lord also teaches us of his grace and the gospel through difficult children. We learn what it is like to love like he loved. We learn how to walk in his footsteps, and it is there, in our personal “upper room,” where we learn how to wash the feet of those who are betraying us. It is there, kneeling before our rebellious children, that the real power of God is demonstrated. The compliant child’s life lies to us, assuring us that she is good because we’re such good parents. Difficult children tell us the truth: God loves his enemies, and he can infuse us with grace that will make us lay down our lives for them too. Their rebellion is a verification of the gospel: we produce sinful children because we are sinners, but God loves sinners. God’s power is displayed through our failures when we tether ourselves to the gospel message of sin and forgiveness, no matter how desperate the situation becomes.”

Let us remember in prayer today those families whose children are walking astray. Let us not look at them with a prideful and judgmental eye. Let us have compassion for them and a heart that reaches to them through prayer.

Let us not forget, not  even for a second, that if our children are walking in the Lord it is because of His Amazing Grace, not because of our abilities as parents, or our methods; it is in spite of us, in spite of our sinfulness, in spite of our shortcomings, in spite of our wrong and selfish motives, that they are where they are now.

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

>A Little Piece of My Life

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I thought I would share today a piece of my life with you in the form of a letter…
Dearest Friend,
How grateful I am for you today; I give thanks to my God for friends who encourage me to walk in the faith like you do.
I am very happy this day because in Mexico, we celebrate Mother’s Day today, yes, we celebrate it every May 10th. My children woke me up with kisses and hugs, with cards and words that filled my eyes with tears. I am grateful also because my mom is coming today to have a nice lunch with us. My little one, who longs to grow to be a chef, will be cooking for us some cannelloni, filled with ricotta cheese and spinach. We are looking forward to that!
My oldest son will have this morning a presentation of his senior thesis on his online school.  Have I told you how much we have been blessed by this online school? Yes, I am sure I have told you that before; having godly teachers influencing our children is a wonderful gift, one that we don’t take for granted. I pray our son will do a great job; he has been preparing himself for this all year round. My prayer is that God may help him to grow into a man who uses his words wisely and to bring glory to God.
This week is also our daughter’s 16th birthday! I am so proud of her; being the mom of such a precious young lady is my joy. She loves her family, is very patient with her sister and loves photography; in fact Daddy bought her a new camera for her birthday which she is already using. You can see this beautiful picture she took on Sunday to celebrate motherhood.
Annie Pliego Photograhy
As you may recall I joined a wonderful project in January entitled Partner 2 Remember in which we devoted ourselves to memorize the epistle of Paul to the Philippians. I tried to keep you posted on my advanced, but while I was working behind the scenes in the Doctrines in the Kitchen series, I did not write about this project. Well, let me tell you with great joy that I did memorize Philippians! I could not believe it did happen! Oh my dear friend, I must tell you how many times I thought I would not accomplish it, but God who is rich in mercy had mercy on me and helped me to persevere. He even put friends on my way to pray for me like Mrs. Hankins, who proved to be a faithful friend. Now I can taste the fruits of a hard labor and Oh,  how sweet they are! I am still reviewing my memory project, so you will see me carrying my little Moleskine at all times with me! I encourage you, as I have done in the past, to start doing this; to start working hard to fill your heart and mind with the Word of God, our only sure hope in a world that hates Him.
Well, this week I just started to memorize a new book of the Bible, the epistle of James,  along with some friends; this time we are doing it in Spanish. But, if you want, you could join us too. We will take 17 weeks for this project; which means that we will only have to memorize approximately one new verse daily.  I am so excited!
Last week, I had the opportunity to go on a trip with my husband and one of my daughters, so as you can imagine; I have many papers to grade, books to read and groceries to buy! And you want to know something? Next week I will be traveling again! and…yes, after a week back home, we all we’ll travel to our family vacation to meet friends we love dearly. I share all this with you, because, as you can imagine, I don’t know how often I’ll be posting during May on my blog. Remember, that you can follow my journey in pictures on my photography journal. You’ll know, however, that I will be around, doing what God has set before me to do! 
You asked me what I have been reading lately: Let me tell you,  I read The Greener Grass Conspiracy by Stephen Altrogge, a book I highly recommend; and did I ever told you that I worked on a review? You can read it here, if you are interested. I am almost finished with another excellent book by Tim Challies, The Next Story. A must read I would  dare to say; a book that all Christians who use technology must read, yes, even we, moms  and grandmothers who blog or love to read blogs.  And of course, I am enjoying a great conversation hosted by my dear friend Elizabeth; several of my wonderful friends are meeting over at her blog once a week to discuss a book that you probably won’t pick at the library; it is a book that teaches about the doctrine of suffering. The book is entitled, A Place for Weakness by M. Horton. And we already discussed chapter one. 
My dear friend, I long to see you face to face and share a good cup of coffee with you soon, yes, on the same table and seeing your eyes and listening to your laugh.
Meanwhile, keep me in your prayers as I keep you in my prayers too,
Your friend always,

Becky

P.S. I forgot to mention that I bought a new pair of walking shoes, some special shoes that promise to help me walk and exercise effectively and more …We’ll see how they do that! 😉

>Out of the Land of Hurry – a Tale for Moms-

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Time runs incessantly by like a waterfall, violently. Clock and Watch seem to have the power over the days of men, they are such cruel rulers. The Sun and the Moon are no longer the Masters of the biological clock of the people in the Land of Hurry. Tic Toc; Tic Toc is the sound that can be heard all over the land, no time for listening to the birds’ song or watching squirrels, or kissing longer, or hugging tighter. Moms run from here and there, tirelessly, dragging feet and children. Dads go and go and go….

– But wait!

– Wait? Who dares to say THAT word in this Land of Hurry?

– It is me,  Quiet-Slow-Mom

– Are you talking to me? Sorry… I don’t have time to stay, I have to go. So many things in my list. I just can’t wait!

– Wait, please. Please, listen to me…

For some strange reason  Rushing-Busy-Mom always in a hurry stopped. For the first time in months she stopped and even felt her heart pumping blood through her body, and without even thinking stared for a moment at a few small beautiful flowers beside the road, and felt her little daughter’s hand holding hers.

Quiet-Slow-Mom said,

-I used to walk like you, enslaved by the cruel Clock and like you, I loved to be running all day. It made me feel… so… productive. Yes, I felt more important if I could handle more things than I wanted to do. I murmured a tiny prayer whenever I had time and sometimes  I read a Bible verse that had been on my fridge for years. Yes, I had the same endless excuses, the little ones, the laundry, the money, the husband, the Bible study, the bills, the gym, the so longed for “Time-For-Me”, who, by the way, is the most shrewd deceiver around Moms.  But one day I stopped… well actually , He made stop…

–He? I barely remember any of His Words… It has been so long…I hadn’t have time.

– Yes, He made me stop; the Owner of my Days; the One who fixed the Sun and Moon in place to give us a day to work and a night to rest. He spoke clearly to me, I remember well. It was one day when he opened my ears to hear my voice, my dialog. I was scared. The two words that my children were listening from me  all day long were terrifying: Hurry Up! 

Rushing-Busy-Mom had a lump on her throat and a tear made of minuscules particles of wasted time, rolled down from her cheek. 

Quiet-Slow-Mom kept on saying,

– When I realized how many times I had spoken those words I broke into pieces. I knew in that moment that those words I kept saying all day, all days were exactly the opposite of what my heart longed for… I did not want to rush the hours, I did not want to make the time pass by so quickly, I did not want to hurry the moments… O Beautiful Moments that were disappearing without no one noticing them, and I just let them go by while Clock and Watch observed, and they laughed at me.

Rushing-Busy-Mom sat on the grass, and held her baby girl in her arms who was now sleeping. She took her tiny hands and took a moment to see how much her hands had grown and how beautiful her hair was.  The rays of the Sun were particularly beautiful that day… or so they seemed. She looked at Quiet-Slow-Mom and whispered to her…

– Do you think it is possible, really possible, to stop living under the cruel, rude, and powerful dominion of Clock and Watch? Is there a way out of the Land of Hurry?


– Yes, there is a way out of the Land of Hurry. It is that tiny door over there; it is just like the Door to Paradise which is narrow; it is a door through which you must enter on your knees, face down, with a contrite spirit… slowly, very slowly. You must leave behind all that doesn’t matter and walk through it humbly. When you hear the Owner of Time, the One who holds the days of mankind in the palm of His hand calling you, do not hesitate and walk through it. He will teach  you to number your days; He will teach you to live wisely in the Land. He will help you to kiss longer and hug tighter, and slow down to play and read a book. He will renew your strength every day with the power of His Word; when You come to meet Him early in the mornings you will find out how to live in this frame of time, serving Him and not Clock or Watch. You will find rest under His shadow and peace under His wings. You will  soon find yourself loving more, smiling more, baking more, making love more… It is when we stop and deliberately seek Him that Time stops ruling our days and we start living, fully living under His sun and by His grace…