Because I Want you to Read Along -A Book Giveaway-

I don’t know if it’s only me, but I can hardly find blogs, books, or good articles to encourage women who, like me, are entering this new stage in life in which “all of a sudden” you are a mom of young adult children. Soemtimes Nancy Wilson at Femina, and Carolyn Mahaney at Girltalk have some pretty good -and challenging- stuff for us, but for the most part, what is written out there is directed towards young moms.

Yesterday I shared about a book I will start reading and, God willing, blogging about starting on February 5. This book, You Never Stop Being a Parent: Thriving in Relationship with Your Adult Children,  will certainly be a blessing to many women who are asking themselves many questions like how their role as a mom changes once their children become adults. So, today, and because I really want you to join me reading in along, and because I know some of my friends are purposely not buying any more books on 2014 (only after they finish the pile they already have at home!), I have decided to give away one copy of this book.

 

An invitation to read along

So if you want your name to be in the drawing, just leave a comment here. I will announce a winner next  Wednesday, January 22 (USA only).

And if you are not in this season of life yet, make sure to pass the voice among your friends, and don’t forget to enter your name in there; if you win, you can give the book to your friend, you know she will be very happy, right?

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

Homeschooling Conversations -Hundreds of Them-

 

Photo credit: Lillian Rachel

Conversations about homeschooling, hundreds of them!- around coffee tables and the same questions over and over again (and I’ve wondered if there is a book out there entitled, “Questions to Ask a Homeschool Mom and her Children” that everyone has already read), and the looks, and the trying to persuade you to quit (for your children’s sake, and your own sanity), and the words: socialization, find-time-for-yourself, tolerance, really? have all been present every time. And of course I learned the correct answer to each of those questions, actually I had two kind of answers for each question: the simple, for the lady waiting on line in the supermarket or for the couple across our table in a business banquet; and the long one, for the moms that were also waiting with me for the gymnastic training or music lessons to be over.

And people asked all these questions and many looked down at us, and kept their eyes on us (even though they pretended not to be spying into our lives) because they were, in a certain way, expecting us to fail in this life experiment. So let me take a minute to answer the real question behind all those hundreds questions: Why did you start doing this?  To have smarter kids? No way. To have well socialized kids? Nope. So that they would not be “contaminated by the world.” Probably you haven’t realized that sin dwells in the heart of a lovely child, of a dad, of a mom; there is absolutely no need to look for it outside your own home. Or maybe you homeschooled your kids to keep them from all heart-breaking stories? No, no.  The reason to  start  -and persevere- on this journey has to be one that is so strong that becomes part of who you are. And what reason is strong enough to make us wake up early every morning, and help us keep pressing on when our heart faints and the tears run, and we know we have failed, and we just don’t know what lies ahead, but this: to bring up our children in the Covenant of God? Yes, yes! This is the real, strong reason behind the many books on the table, and the planners, and the board on the wall, and the mold growing in the cream-cheese in fridge (on purpose, of course). All these rhythms of life have become ours because we wanted -each day- to feed our children’s souls with God’s Word and hundreds of stories and we wanted to teach them to see the stars, and the ocean, and the Greeks, and the Aztecs, and Reubens, and Frida Khalo all through the light of the Scriptures. All through one lens: Truth. We wanted to live the daily, beautiful, God-given life together under God’s grace, under His Covenant.

And we are grateful, so incredibly grateful for the work of the Spirit in each one of our children and for the many ways in which He has faithfully kept them in His Covenant. We rejoice in our loving God and in His ways. We can proclaim with a loud voice: God is indeed faithful! He delights to keep His covenant. He is a God that loves to save children, families, and bless the generations of the righteous.

It’s already summer and this one will be different. We’ll pack the suitcases of two of our children who will be moving  2626.54 miles away from home, and I already miss them but to know that they are walking in the Covenant of Grace is enough to make my heart swell with gladness and rest assured that God will finish what He started in them -in us, in me-

“Wisdom is an ambitious woman. In Proverbs 8 she describes how she’s a catch. The knowledge to get power, wealth, competence and circumspection is hers, yet she delights to teach from her home. When Jesus says, Wisdom is vindicated by her children, his statement assumes that Wisdom is a homeschooling mom.” Dr. Michael Collender

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

In Grace, By Grace, and Under Grace -On Raising Our Children –

 

My Man and I were talking in the car -trapped in traffic-, the tears and fears, and thousand questions were all there. It was 12 years ago, in that car, that we decided we were going to start homeschooling our children (three at the time). This was way too crazy for us to do, we personally didn’t  know any family doing this, we had really no idea on how to start or if it would work or not. What about socialization? And paper work? All those questions -and many more- were in our minds -in our hearts-. But it seemed that we didn’t have any other choice if we wanted to provide to our children an education that didn’t divorce our beliefs with what they were being taught at school. Not one Christian school was around for us to even consider that as an option (even now, there are only a few “Christian schools” that are only “Christian” in name -we live in Mexico City, remember?).

I tucked my children in bed that night, Santiago was 8, Annie 6 and Nico 4 (Isabel only existed in the plans of God at that time). And I kissed them with the kind of kiss that is mingled with tears. We loved our children, and we knew we had to be purposely involved in their education if we wanted to bring them up in the Covenant. That night, in my dreams, the Lord reminded me of a prayer I had prayed over and over in my teenage years, “Lord, I want to serve you full time. I want to be used by you to change the world, to fight for Your Kingdom, to be a godly influence in the world, to reach many, to touch lives.” And you know what? I remember how I cried so much every time I prayed this prayer because all the ideas I had about ministries that will change the world were always doors that were impossible to break through,  no matter how hard I tried to bring them down they remained closed. But this night was different. As the Lord reminded me of that prayer of my youth in my dreams, I knew He was graciously answering my prayer in a much unexpected way: I was given the opportunity to change the world, to fight for the Kingdom, to be a godly influence, to reach many, to touch lives by reaching to my children first.

Morning came and new mercies too. We still had a huge list of questions, fears, doubts, but the direction of the Lord for our family was clear. There was not turning back. And many new mornings came and each one brought new mercies with it.

Today classes are officially over at VPSA (one of the most important ways God answered to my fears!), and Annie and Nico (who decided to graduate earlier) finished highschool and will be joining Santiago in College next Fall. I look back now and cannot see anything but grace upon grace. Every day with them has been a day we started and finished in grace, by grace, and under grace. All our doubts and fears, and questions never conquered us, and not because we were too smart, or too disciplined, or too savvy, or had a great support group and many friends, nor even because we had the kind of faith that moves mountains. Oh no, we didn’t! We conquered the doubts and fears, and questions because we knew we were small and our God big. We took everyday five little stones and faced the Giant face to face, knowing in whom we had put our trust.  We obeyed and we trusted in Him because the well of mercy and grace never dried up.

Today I look at them, two young men and a young lady. And I see how they love each other with genuine love, how they long to be always together, how they support one another, how they enjoy being with our little Isabel. I see them well grounded in love and in the faith. I see them too raising their eyes to the horizon, getting hold of their own Sword and ready to fight Giants and Dragons. They are arrows ready to pierce the enemy. They are blessed warriors who long to build families and have their own quivers filled with children and raise them up in the Covenant of Grace.

And I give thanks to my God, because isn’t that the only natural response to a Grace-filled life?

Now I see Isabel, and think of how her journey will be very different. And because God hasn’t changed His orders for us, we’ll remain in this path. Again I have fears and doubts, and questions. Again I have tears in my eyes as I think of only having one child in our little homeschool. Again I think that this is crazy.  And yes, as my friend Ann says, I have “soul-amnesia.”

This time the encouragement comes not in a dream. The Lord used my son, Santiago, to remind me of the goodness and faithfulness of our God. He recounts the blessings, the answer to our prayers. “Mom, remember how you had no idea how you were going to teach us Logic, and Rhetoric, and Physics, and Algebra? Remember, Mom, how God provided for us an online school -a brand new school at the time- that was clearly an answer to your prayers [and how we found that school! An old catalog handed to me by someone who didn’t know anything about Classical Education and was given this catalog by a missionary when he left…]. Mom, remember this…. remember when… Remember, He will lead you now and show you what to do with Isabel. It will be good.”

So I look back and recount His blessings. And it is amazing how looking back and remembering His goodness, His hand leading us every day, gives us hope for the day ahead. I cling to my Rock one more time and I hold my peace.

It has been a long way, and it was lived day by day, minute by minute. Fully there, and fully aware that if the Lord didn’t build these children up, all we were doing was in vain. This has been a journey of grace and will continue to be so. I have messed things up many many times, I am a woman with many flaws. Many times I get behind in Math, and I’m not happy to do all the hands-on projects, and get -pretty ugly-mad- at them. But God, in spite of all my faults and shortcomings has heard my prayers and my cries and has given us grace to start each day, grace to continue, and grace to finish well. We have planted faithfully and have watered the seed of the Word in their hearts every day, all day, but God, and only God can make each seed grow and give fruit. And He has done so faithfully and I know He will continue to do it in this new stage of our family.

Today I remember this prayer of my youth, “Lord, I want to serve you full time. I want to be used by you to change the world, to fight for Your Kingdom, to be a godly influence in the world, to reach many, to touch lives.”  And I see how God has answered it as I look at each one of our children.

Under His Sun and by His grace,

Becky

Job Consecrated His Children Daily to God- A Meditation-

“His sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did continually.” Job 1: 4-5


Jim LePage Art and Design

Toby J.Sumpter in his book, Job through New Eyes: A Son for Glory says,

” [S]in is also a directional thing, a geographical reality, a sort of teleology. Literally, the verb in the Hebrew means “to sin” means “to miss the mark”; it means you’ve veered off the path. To sin is to be going in the wrong direction, to be in the wrong place.


So what does Job do? Job is saying, God, I’m not sure what my sons have been doing, but want to reorient them to you again. I’m not sure where they’ve been , I’m not sure what they’ve said. I’m not sure what’s going on their hearts, so I’m offering them back to you again. This one for my firstborn son, this one for my secondborn son, this one for my thirdborn, and I am offering them up to you. I remind you of them. Consider my sons, and draw them into your presence…Job did this regularly.”


And so do I.


Amen.

Becky

Five Links -On Justification by Faith, Titus 2 Women, and Bible Apps- and Two Questions

This is my new favorite breakfast recipe: Raspberry Ricotta Scones!

This week I came across some great articles that I thought you might enjoy and benefit from as well.

We talk about being justified by faith alone, but maybe you are not really sure what it is meant by that phrase. Well, our friend Christina Langella has a guest post at Theology for Girls which is worth reading (please don’t even try to skim through it, read it carefully. You will not regret it. 😉 ).

“Whether you have been serving God for a little while or a long while, it doesn’t matter. The whole of your Christian faith is grounded in this one doctrine.It is the truth of God’s grace in Christ towards sinners, and it will not only deliver you from the darkness but it will also keep you on solid ground.”

My dear friend Trisha Poff wrote an excellent and timely article on the need of becoming Titus 2 Women.

“I’m watching women dismiss our home-centered calling as they insist on blurring the distinctive roles God has given men and women, sometimes in the name of being “Gospel-focused,” as though biblical womanhood is void of the Gospel dwelling in us richly.”

On the same line, The Gospel Coalition has an article (from February 28, 2013) for women in need of a mentor: How to Be Mentored Without a Mentor that is very practical and encouraging.

“You may be longing for a formal mentor, someone who can sit down and speak into your life each week. Pray and ask God for that tremendous gift. He may grant it. But if he doesn’t, or until he does, seek out resources already available to you in order to be mentored—even at a distance—by other Christians. I often challenge young, busy moms to read one chapter of a good book each day. You can work your way through a number of books that way. And you’re giving your soul something nourishing.”

Lastly (from the archives at Desiring God -2011-) an excellent encouragement to become “addicted” to God’s Word: Man Shall not Live by Facebook Alone

“Let the Bible bring you back to reality over and over during the day.”

My favorite, favorite, app that has helped me do this and also has helped me with my memorization projects is Fighter Verses, also by Desiring God. I love it!

Now the questions:

Considering that two of my links this week have to do with becoming a Titus 2 Woman I thought maybe we could share some about that here.

1. Who have been the most influential mentors -in your vocation as a Christian wife/mother- in your life (women you know personally and/or authors)?

2. Are you purposely mentoring younger women?

My Answers:

1. In my life, I can quickly point to my sister and Nancy Wilson (I am not mentioning men authors, since this is a question about Titus 2 women). I think also of a friend who reminds me (even the way she speaks!) of Elisabeth Elliot. Elisabeth Elliot, by the way, is becoming a mentor to me in this stage of my life. I have also learned (and still learn!) a lot from different godly friends: there is one who always listens attentively while looking you at the eye with her apron on and a “beautiful tomato” on her hand; another whose mouth is full of the Word of God and with whom sometimes I talk on the phone for hours -she is my life editor of the sort-. There is one who prays without ceasing and cooks the best carrot soufflé ever! Others whose example of love and dedication to their children (biological and adopted) and their perseverance in prayer for them -and even hard physical work- have always been a silent challenge that speaks loudly to my life.

2. Yes. But not enough. I am now almost solely focused on my daughters, especially on my oldest who is leaving for college next fall! So much to talk and pray about, so many hugs to give and laughs to share.

Blessings to you and thank you for stopping by,

Becky

The Feminist Mistake by Mary Kassian -My Review-

A professing Evangelical woman today will try to say that she is not a Feminist, that she only believes that in marriage (and Church) there should be no hierarchies, that in Christ we all are one and that we, wives, are not longer called to submit to our own husbands, instead we are both (husband and wife) called to submit to one another.  Is this even possible?

Mary Kassian’s book: The Feminist Mistake, The Radical Impact of Feminism on Church and Culture is an extremely important book in all this “gender debate” issue. And it is important because of at least three reasons:

1. It helps us understand the origins, the philosophical and theological views of Feminism and how it found its way into the Church.

2. It also help us understand how it is impossible to be a Feminist and a Christian. You can’t embrace both. Feminism always leads to a “new kind” of theology which has its own hermeneutic methods to interpret the Scriptures, so that it would be able to “support” its own beliefs.

3. It helps us understand that the so called “gender-debate” (egalitarianism vs complementarism), goes beyond the issues like “who takes the final decisions at home.” Feminism leads, little by little, to a complete non-Biblical view of God, and the world.

Kassian’s book is well written, clear, and engaging. It is also well researched and it includes a great number of references. Mary Kassian’s approach is objective, and does not deal with the subject as if she were in a “witch hunt,” she presents a professional historical account, and always from a solid Biblical standpoint.

The book is divided in two parts: The Philosophical Quake and Shock Waves

The first part is subdivided in three stages:

1. Naming Self (here she explains how women decided to name themselves, instead of letting God name them, define who they are).

2. Naming the World  (two of the things she deals about in this stage are: Women-centered Analysis of Theology and Women’s Studies in colleges).

3. Naming God (the feminization of God, and women and their place in the Church are discussed here).

In the second part of her book, Kassian deals with the advent of “biblical feminism,” the hermeneutic methods they use to sustain their “egalitarian” position, the  “what-to-do-know” kind of questions, and what will happen next if we refuse to see the danger feminism represents and we neglect to stand firm against it.

I would like to share with you some quotes on the matter of Feminism and Theology:

“In order to harmonize feminism and religion, Daly found it necessary to reject the theology that presented God as omnipotent, immutable, and providential, for she believed that this view discouraged women from seeking change. Furthermore, she viewed images of a jealous and vengeful God as projections and justifications for the role of the “tyrant father in patriarchal society” rather than as actual aspects of God’s character. The concept of an almighty, all-powerful, unchangeable, caring, providential God, jealous and demanding worship, was, according to Daly, an inadequacy in the conceptualization of basic doctrines which sustained and perpetuated androcentric theological teachings.” (p.47)

 

“Feminist theolgians, therefore, took the liberty of discarding passages of the Bible that did not agree with their vision of sexual equality. They either dismissed the text as outdated -relative only to a particular time and culture- and the author of the text as misogynistic, or they interpreted it and assigned it a meaning different from what the author had intended. The dynamic view of the Bible that feminists adopted allowed them to adjust biblical interpretations in order to make the Bible relevant to the problems and  perspectives of women in contemporary culture. Feminists argued that biblical interpretation could and should change.” (p. 108)

 

“Traditional symbols of the church had presented God as “He” and as King, Lord, and Judge. Feminists maintained that these religious symbols excluded women. The symbols needed to be updated to accommodate the new feminist consciousness. According to feminists, linguistics symbols of the Bible and church, as well as of God, needed to be altered in order to bring them into line with the inclusive equality of women.” (p.162)

Ruether and Stendal, two influential feminist theologians, said that “those who imaged God as male were guilty of idolatry,” and that “those who believed that God was, in some way or another, male were guilty of idolatry.” The author rightly responds,

“…by changing the biblical symbols, Russell altered and renamed God. This is a serious matter. For if feminism’s altered view of God is out of synchronization with who God really is, as He has revealed Himself, then it is not really God whom they are imagining and worshiping; and this is the idoaltry that the Bible condemns.” (p.168)

When women start re-naming God and try to de-sexualize Him, what they end up doing, according to the author’s analysis, is they depersonalized God, they attack God’s character,  they deny the Trinitarian relationship, they obscure the person and work of Christ, they obscure humanity’s relationship to God, and their own personal identity (p.168-173).

If you read this book carefully, you will clearly see the philosophical progression of feminism.

Mary Kassian says,

“While I do not deny that feminist vary in political theory and theology, I maintain that are all part of a larger continuum that supersedes and encompasses those variations. A feminist, at any given point in time, may not see herself or himself at the radical end of the movement, and I am certain that some individuals will never change their personal views to that extent. But the dissociation of one’s brand of feminism from the remainder of the feminist movement is a naive denial of reality. The philosophical progression of feminism is both coherent and logically immanent.” (p.241)

Maybe you are one of those who “sees feminism as an ideology that merely promotes the genuine dignity and worth of women.” Read what Mary Kassian wisely says on the matter:

“If this were true (the statement above), feminism would definitely be compatible with Christianity, for the Bible does teach that women and men are of equal value in God’s sight, co-created as bearers of God’s image. But the philosophy of feminism adds a subtle, almost indiscernible twist to the basic biblical truth of woman’s worth. Feminism asserts that woman’s worth is of such a nature that it gives her the right to discern, judge, and govern that truth herself… Feminism does not present itself as at outright affront to the Bible, but it nevertheless contains an insidious distortion that erodes the authority of the Scripture. Acceptance of the feminist thesis may not drastically alter one’s initial beliefs, but if followed, it will naturally and logically lead to an end miles away from the Christianity of the Bible.” (p. 261)

What now? Why should you read this book if you are not a “biblical feminist” (or an egalitarian)? I assure you, sisters, that the rise of this movement is coming more rapidly and with more fury than we can even start to imagine. We need to be ready to discern it and be well grounded in the Word of God to be able to teach our daughters (and sons) the dangers of this lie.

Let us press hard and embrace our precious and wonderful calling which is good, because God said so. Let us not be afraid, sisters, to be named by God, to embrace the beauty of our place in His story.

Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man’” Genesis 2:23

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

Mary Kassian blogs at Girls Gone Wise, and True Woman

 

*********************